Archive for 2008

Why They’re Not Al­lowed to Play Re­al Base­ball Any­more

(dur­ing a game of wif­fle­ball)
Guy #1: Dammit, Scott hit the fuck­ing ball!
Guy #2: Shut up, Dave! Why are you so fuck­ing fat?!
Guy #1: I’m fat? Well, why do you still have an in­cur­able shit­ting dis­ease?
Guy #2: Be­cause it’s incurable…dick!

–Tillary St, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Dan Fuckin’ Mur­phy

Did­n’t You Watch the Video We Gave You for Christ­mas?

Fa­ther: Hur­ry up or we’ll be late! If we’re late mom­my is gonna spank you!
Tod­dler son: (shocked look)
Fa­ther: I’m kid­ding, mom­my would nev­er spank you, mom­my would spank dad­dy.
Tod­dler son: Mom­my spanks dad­dy?
Fa­ther (with a de­vi­ous smile): Mom­my spanks dad­dy all the time!

–Sheep Mead­ow, Cen­tral Park