Archive for 2008

Whatever, Mr. “Bo­livia Is a City in Spain”

Young girl: I’m bored.
Fa­ther: Okay, let’s play the state name al­pha­bet game.
Young girl: Yay!
Fa­ther: Okay, here we go — A?
Young girl: Al­aba­ma!
Fa­ther: Good. B?
Young girl: Bo­livia!
Fa­ther: No, that’s a city in Spain. Try again.
Young girl: … I can’t!
Fa­ther: That’s be­cause there are no states be­gin­ning with B! Ha! Gets you every time! Okay — C?
Young girl: Car­oli­na!
Fa­ther: Eh, I should­n’t re­al­ly give you cred­it for that… but I guess this time… D?
Young girl: Dash­wood!
Fa­ther: Dash­wood?! What the fuck is Dash­wood?! This game is over.

–C train

Over­heard by: CPC

So Close I Got Squeezed out and End­ed up Here

Work­er: So, where are you from?
Asian guy: Um­mm, Fresh Mead­ows, Queens.
Work­er: No, re­al­ly, where are you from? Like, over­seas?
Asian guy: Tai­wan.
Work­er: Oh. How do you say ‘Hi’?
Asian guy: Ni hao.
Work­er: That’s like the same as Chi­nese right?
Asian guy: Yeah.
Work­er: Is it be­cause the coun­tries are re­al­ly close?

–OMG store, So­ho

Over­heard by: Lar­ry Li­ou

Says the Guy Who Owns Buffy on DVD?

Thug #1: Man, I still can’t be­lieve you like Brit­ney Spears! Ain’t no re­al nig­ga likes Brit­ney Spears! That’s some dumb shit, man. Stu­pid shit.
Thug #2: Whoa, hol’ up a sec­ond — Brit­ney Spears is a nice, at­trac­tive woman, and I re­spect her. How can that pos­si­bly be dumb? What the hel­l’s wrong with that?
Thug #1: Nig­ga, did you hear what you just said? You ain’t just stu­pid, you gay!

–3 train

Over­heard by: Mike N

I’m So Proud!

Drunk woman in long fur coat: Oh, you have to be fuck­ing kid­ding me! I got­ta pee!
Tourist: Yeah, we’ve been wait­ing for a while. [Nods in di­rec­tion of un­at­tend­ed mop soak­ing in buck­et, and laughs] I mean, you could al­ways use that thing, I guess.
Drunk woman: Okay, al­right — just tell me if any­one is com­ing! [Hikes up coat and be­gins to pee in bucket.]Tourist: Je­sus Christ! I’ve been here one day, and I’m re­spon­si­ble for en­cour­ag­ing pub­lic uri­na­tion.

–Line for re­stroom, Mc­Don­ald’s, Times Square

Over­heard by: wish i’d thought of that

Psh, Like the Fans Mat­ter

Guy #1: And where did you go to high school?
Guy #2: [Names high school.]Guy #1: Wait, where are you from, again?
Guy #2: I’m from just out­side of Boston.
Guy #1: So, you’re a Red Sox fan?
Guy #2: Yup.
Guy #1: Ass­hole.

–6 train

Over­heard by: Fel­low ass­hole