Psychic lady: Can I read your palms?
Man: Fuck no! Can I read yours?!
–Mulberry St
Overheard by: Joe
Psychic lady: Can I read your palms?
Man: Fuck no! Can I read yours?!
–Mulberry St
Overheard by: Joe
Girl: What time is it, 5:30? I’m not even supposed to be out.
Guy: Why not?
Girl: Because I’m in Milan!
–23rd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Sara
Crazy guy, unrolling huge chart: Look up, people! If you had looked up back there in the station, you would have seen paint and debris falling off the ceiling onto your heads! The city and the MTA don’t want you to know the reason why it’s falling off, but if you’ll look at this chart, you can see that I’ve carefully mapped out — every time the city repairs a street, directly below it the subway ceilings are falling down! See? They worked on 86th and Lex last week, and the ceiling is already falling down! [Continues ranting.]UES lady to hubby: Next time you book this train, get us a seat in the non-delusional car.
–6 train, between 86th & 72nd
Overheard by: Volunteer Witness
20-ish girl #1: They are sooo funny together! Like a pencil and an eraser.
20-ish girl #2: A pencil and an eraser?
20-ish girl #1: Okay, maybe that’s not the best analogy. They’re like… a stick and a ball!
20-ish girl #2: A stick and a ball…
20-ish girl #1: Yeah. Wouldn’t it be funny if they dated?
20-ish girl #2: Wait, I thought you said they were cousins.
20-ish girl #1: Well, I’m not totally sure… But wouldn’t it be funny if they dated?
20-ish girl #2: Uh…
–Brooklyn-bound D train
Guy #1: Can someone push eight? I guess I forgot. [Disembarks at eighth floor.]Guy #2: Something about the way he said that made me want to hit him.
–NYU dorm elevator
Guy: Naw, you just stuck on stupid. I told you, you should’ve dropped down and sucked that nigga’s dick.
Girl, resigned: Yeah…
–1st & Union, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Nat
Girl: Last night we went to a party in New Jersey.
Guy: On purpose?
–Cherry Tree Bar, 4th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: ashley friedman
Guy #1: So, what would you do if Superman were real and flew in through your room window?
Guy #2: You mean, besides having my feet behind my ears?
–Loews Theatre, Lincoln Square
Overheard by: Shea
Guy #1: You said she’s a slut.
Guy #2: Yeah, but I didn’t mean that. You can’t just quote me verbatim!
Guy #1: Wait, what?
Guy #3: Hahaha! How else can he quote you if it’s not verbatim?!
–Columbia University
Store clerk #1: Our manager is a B‑I-C-T-C‑H.
Store clerk #2: Yeah, because our customers can’t spell or anything…
–H&M, 34th St
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist