Archive for 2008

Be­sides, If You Go Far Enough Left, You’re Right.

Lit­tle girl, adorably: So, this hand is right and this one is left?
Mom: No, it’s the oth­er way around.
Lit­tle girl: But you said be­fore! You said this was the right and this was the left!
Mom: Well, if I’m fac­ing you -
Lit­tle girl, ex­as­per­at­ed : Moth­er, I re­al­ly don’t want to talk to you about this any­more.

–LIRR

Over­heard by: Maris­sa

An­nounced He’s Mak­ing the Full Court Press against Ter­ror

Trav­eller: Can you put on CBS so we can watch the bas­ket­ball?
Bar­tender: It’s not on.
Trav­eller: Re­al­ly? It should be…
Bar­tender: Yeah, it *was* on, but then that guy came on to talk. You know, that guy, what’s his name? The pres­i­dent?

–Bar, JFK Ter­mi­nal 7

Over­heard by: NCS

And Don’t You Dare In­sult Crack

Taxi dri­ver to col­league: Man, you know I don’t smoke that mar­i­jua­na. How could you say that? It does­n’t do any­thing for me. So, I smoke crack. [turns to a young woman with bags] Want a taxi?
Young woman: No, es­pe­cial­ly if you smoke crack.
Taxi dri­ver: It does­n’t mat­ter what I smoke. If you can’t af­ford a taxi, just say that. Don’t in­sult me.

–In front of the Path­mark on At­lantic Ave, Brook­lyn