Thug: Yo, you saw that “Pirates of the Caribbean”?
Suit: Yeah.
Thug, laughing hysterically: That part where they’re on the boats?
Suit: Yeah…
Thug: I’m just sayin’, it was funny though.
–34th & 10th
Overheard by: I laughed, I cried…
Archive for 2008
Men Really Do Have Trouble Multitasking
College boy #1: Do you think when we get there we can…
[Five second pause.]College boy #2: What?
College boy #1: Sorry, I had to concentrate. I had to fart.
–Crosstown Bus
Overheard by: Gonna Cab It From Now On
Asian People Have Jobs
Hot drunk girl #1: Hey, Alice, can Asian people have dreadlocks?
Hot drunk guy: No, you have to be black or Jewish.
Hot drunk girl #2: I’m Jewish!
–Houston & Broadway
Overheard by: Dreadless Jew
He Gives Me All the Nutrition I Need
Boy waving banana: Want this?
Frustrated girl: I don’t need a banana. I have a boyfriend.
–College Walk, Columbia University
Hey Kid, Stop Being Black on the Subway!
Hispanic girl: You’re always showing off!
Black kid: What?
Hispanic girl: Get off me!
Black kid: Stop it!
Hispanic girl: Get off me!
Black passenger guy: Man, why’s it always gotta be our people pulling this shit? You never see white people pulling this shit. You never see Chinese people pulling this shit. Man!
–C Train
Overheard by: Noelle
Still a More Convincing Gandhi Than Ben Kingsley
Guy with thick New York accent: Come on, let’s go.
[Dog lies down on back.]Guy: Don’t do that Mahatma Gandhi shit!
–Washington Square Dog Run
Overheard by: KidUgly
You Big, Gay Little House-Watcher
Guy on cell: There was Laura Ingalls and the mean one… What was her name?
Passerby: Nellie!
–Entrance, A Train
Overheard by: TRUE
We Can Stand on the Platform All Night and Pretend We’re Waiting for the G
Nineteen-year-old guy: So do you want to try role playing tonight?
Nineteen-year-old girlfriend: What?!
Nineteen-year-old guy: You know, like let’s pretend we’re from Brooklyn.
–120th & Broadway
Overheard by: Heather V
Someday She’ll Just Erupt Like Mount Crackhotoa
Girl: He says that she is his soulmate. Is he fucking kidding me?
Guy: She is a semen-gurgling road whore.
–Subway Inn, 60th St, UES
There’s No Magic Like the Sorcery of Proper Accessorizing
Little boy, shouting and grabbing magic wand from his sister: No! I wanna be Hermione! It’s my turn to be Hermione!
Little girl: Be Harry! His magic’s better!
Little boy: But Hermione’s clothes are so much cooler!
–Barnes and Noble, E 86th St
Overheard by: Noel Coward
