Archive for 2008

Shallow Parents Have Trouble With Deep Kids

Male #1: I have a daughter that dresses like a hooker, and everyday I yell at her: “*Nicole! Stop dressing like a hooker!” …She’s a fucking cutter too!
Male #2: She cuts class?
Male #1: No. She cuts herself and she doesn’t even do a good job of covering it up either! How the hell does she expect to get a guy with all that shit on her arm?

–Marillac Hall, St. John’s University

Overheard by: Leonard Castell

Translation: “Die, Shrew. Die! Die!

Wifey: Did you just see what happened?
Husband: Yes.
Wifey: That’s why you need to let people off the train first before you try to get on.
Husband: Okay.
Wifey: Next time, just follow me okay?
Husband, disgruntled: Okay.
[Wifey starts reading a book and hubby starts reading his morning newspaper.]Wifey, glancing at husband: You really need to clean your ears out ‑you have a big piece of wax in your ear!
Husband: Thanks for letting me know.
Wifey: No problem.

–N Train