Archive for 2008

Shal­low Par­ents Have Trou­ble With Deep Kids

Male #1: I have a daugh­ter that dress­es like a hook­er, and every­day I yell at her: “*Nicole! Stop dress­ing like a hook­er!” …She’s a fuck­ing cut­ter too!
Male #2: She cuts class?
Male #1: No. She cuts her­self and she does­n’t even do a good job of cov­er­ing it up ei­ther! How the hell does she ex­pect to get a guy with all that shit on her arm?

–Mar­il­lac Hall, St. John’s Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: Leonard Castell

Ex­plains the Dog­gie Sweater with the Red “A”

[Man with big dog is stand­ing on the side­walk. Man with small dog walks by. Small dog starts jump­ing at and around big dog.]Man with big dog: Is it a boy?
Man with small dog: Yeah.
Man with big dog: Oh, he bet­ter watch out! [Ges­tures to his dog.] She’s a slut!

–Wash­ing­ton Place, Out­side Pless Hall

Over­heard by: Cal­iban

Trans­la­tion: “Die, Shrew. Die! Die!

Wifey: Did you just see what hap­pened?
Hus­band: Yes.
Wifey: That’s why you need to let peo­ple off the train first be­fore you try to get on.
Hus­band: Okay.
Wifey: Next time, just fol­low me okay?
Hus­band, dis­grun­tled: Okay.
[Wifey starts read­ing a book and hub­by starts read­ing his morn­ing newspaper.]Wifey, glanc­ing at hus­band: You re­al­ly need to clean your ears out ‑you have a big piece of wax in your ear!
Hus­band: Thanks for let­ting me know.
Wifey: No prob­lem.

–N Train