Con­duc­tor: [Steps out of the booth.] Peo­ple, let me tell you about the day I’ve been hav­ing. Hold on. [Makes an an­nounce­ment and steps back out.] First of all, we get a re­port that there are two men mak­ing love in the last train and have to go in there to break it up. Then we get two home­less women in here with all their bags and this la­dy all throw­ing a fit be­cause they smell. The home­less woman says to her: “You bet­ter be get­ting out of my face!” and the yelling la­dy tries to grab her bags, she pulls out pep­per spray and gets her right in the face! Hold on [Jumps back in­to booth.] and this la­dy right, she has her arms out in front of her face like this [cross­es arms] like she got the pow­er of Christ to pro­tect her. We had the cops wait­ing at the next sta­tion and every­thing.

–A Train