Archive for 2008

Hmm, Ac­cord­ing to This, It’s a Mu­si­cal

Guy: Wait, what part of New York is Chica­go in?
Girl: What?! Chica­go is­n’t in New York! Chica­go is its own state.
Guy: No, it’s not a state! It’s called the “windy city.“
Girl: Oh, right. I guess it is in New York then.
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: Hang on, I’ll look it up on my black­ber­ry.

–Ford­ham Uni­ver­si­ty

Re­ports of Mr. Hefn­er’s Bed­room Ac­tiv­i­ties Have Been Great­ly Ex­ag­ger­at­ed

Store clerk with thick ac­cent: Con­doms? Which one?
Old man: No! Cough drops! Cough drops!
Store clerk: Con­doms? [points at con­dom boxes]Old man: Look at me… What the heck do I need con­doms for!? Cough drops!

–Port Au­thor­i­ty

Over­heard by: Renz

I Hope You Don’t Think I’m a Ho­bo­sex­u­al

[hobo walks in­to the train with bag in cart]Drunk queer stand­ing be­hind hobo: Move it or lose it.
Hobo: Who the fuck is that?!
Queer: Queen Vic­to­ria.
Hobo: I’m a ma­rine, I’ll fuck­ing kill you.
Queer: Let me know when you get your VA check, I’ll help you spend it.
Hobo: Yeah, sure I’ll do that.
Queer: In Cen­tral Park.
Hobo: I’ll call you.
Queer: My num­ber’s 444–332. Call me at that num­ber.
Hobo: I won’t call you.
[they get off the train gig­gling]

–A train, Colum­bus Cir­cle

Over­heard by: JohnD