Archive for 2008

He Said It with an Ominous Voice and a Mr. Burns Finger-Touch

Elderly woman on stretcher: Is the ambulance heated?
Handlebar-mustached ambulance driver: Yes.
Elderly woman on stretcher: I’m gonna freeze to death.
Handlebar-mustached ambulance driver (smiling, tenderly): No, you’re gonna sweat to death.

–63rd b/w Park & Lexington

Overheard by: Paul Tabachneck

Then She Barks at Me and Pees on the Cardboard

Very drunk, seemingly homeless man with cane (to entire car): Merry Christmas, happy Hannukah, everyone!
(everyone in car stares)
Drunk man: I’m not homeless, I’m just very drunk. I got a woman at home who ain’t got no job and I keep telling her, bitch, get outta my house and get a job!

–6 Train

Overheard by: Melissa Sills