Archive for 2008

Try “Doggies for Druggies,” Sir

Young thug to ASPCA rep with Pit Bull: Yo, is that a Pit Bull? Can I get her?
ASPCA rep: Yes, she is up for adoption, her name is…
Young thug: Yo, that's cool, cuz I like sell weed and shit, and I need a pit.
ASPCA rep: Uhh… (turns and walks away)
Young thug: I ain't gonna beat her.

–Union Square, ASPCA Day

Overheard by: Somebody should beat him.

We All Have Friends Who Find Our Buttons and Keep Pushing Them

Girl: Hey…do you think that there's, like, pregnant porn out there?
Friend: You mean, porn, starring pregnant women?
Girl: Yeah.
Friend: That's gross. I don't even want to know.
Girl: Hmm… I think I'm going to look it up when I get home.
Friend: Can we please stop talking about this?
Girl: I'll send you some?
Friend (disgusted): Please. Don't.

–27th & 6th

Overheard by: sam

A Real Man Has the Scars to Prove It

Older guy at table: Goddamn it!
Younger man: What's the matter?
Older guy: Do you ever get some loose skin from your ball sack stuck in you fly? I can tell you right now, it's a motherfucker!
Younger guy: No, that's why we wear underwear.
Older guy: Yeah, well back in my day I was raised without them and god forbid, as long as I live, I'll never put one on till I'm cold dead.

–Burger King, Broadway