Archive for 2008

Try “Dog­gies for Drug­gies,” Sir

Young thug to AS­P­CA rep with Pit Bull: Yo, is that a Pit Bull? Can I get her?
AS­P­CA rep: Yes, she is up for adop­tion, her name is…
Young thug: Yo, that’s cool, cuz I like sell weed and shit, and I need a pit.
AS­P­CA rep: Uhh… (turns and walks away)
Young thug: I ain’t gonna beat her.

–Union Square, AS­P­CA Day

Over­heard by: Some­body should beat him.

Dig­ni­ty Ze­ro, En­ter­tain­ment Ten

Guy in stall #1: Hey, can you pass me some toi­let pa­per? There’s none here.
Guy in stall #2: Sure. (pause) Here’s a bit. It ain’t much.
Guy in stall #1: I’ll take what­ev­er you can give me.
Guy in stall #2: Sure, I know how it is. (starts to sing) I know how it ii­i­i­i­is, to be strand­ed on the toi­let bowwwwwl…

–Men’s Re­stroom, Bryant Park

We All Have Friends Who Find Our But­tons and Keep Push­ing Them

Girl: Hey…do you think that there’s, like, preg­nant porn out there?
Friend: You mean, porn, star­ring preg­nant women?
Girl: Yeah.
Friend: That’s gross. I don’t even want to know.
Girl: Hmm… I think I’m go­ing to look it up when I get home.
Friend: Can we please stop talk­ing about this?
Girl: I’ll send you some?
Friend (dis­gust­ed): Please. Don’t.

–27th & 6th

Over­heard by: sam

A Re­al Man Has the Scars to Prove It

Old­er guy at ta­ble: God­damn it!
Younger man: What’s the mat­ter?
Old­er guy: Do you ever get some loose skin from your ball sack stuck in you fly? I can tell you right now, it’s a moth­er­fuck­er!
Younger guy: No, that’s why we wear un­der­wear.
Old­er guy: Yeah, well back in my day I was raised with­out them and god for­bid, as long as I live, I’ll nev­er put one on till I’m cold dead.

–Burg­er King, Broad­way