Little boy looking out window: I want to take the NYU shuttle when I go to college!
Mother: You can, if you go to NYU.
Little boy: Ohh. Nevermind.
–M103 Downtown
Archive for 2008
What? I Had Orange Soda with It.
Woman #1: What we gonna eat for dinner?
Woman #2: How ’bout Popeyes Chicken?
Woman #1: Nah, I had that fo’ breakfast.
–Coney Island Boardwalk
Overheard by: OkieExpat
“Ick” Is Metrosexual in Origin
woman #1: I think he’s gay. He uses the word “eeek” a lot.
Woman #2: “I‑c-k”?
Woman #1: No, “e‑e-e-c‑k”.
Woman #2: Isn’t it “c‑h”?
Woman #1: “C‑h,” “c‑k,” who cares! But that’s gay, right?
Woman #2: Totally.
–Dylan Prime Restaurant, Tribeca
One of the Many Perks Of Dating a Kennedy
Teen chick: Move!
Teen guy: Move? Yeah, fuck grammar, we’re in a hurry!
Teen chick: Y’know, if you weren’t such a cunt you coulda had me!
Teen guy: I’ll just fuck you while you’re sleeping then.
Teen chick: Oh my god, that would be so hot!
–NYU
Overheard by: Guy With A Nonder
There Are So Few of Us in the City
Girl on cell: I am trashed… Well, actually, I’m drunk.
Passer-by: Hey, me too!
–6th St & Avenue B
At Least Until Brad Pitt Takes Over?
European man: Aww, what a beautiful baby. So nice…
Thai woman (in Thai): Do you want to be the daddy?
–N Train
Overheard by: NYC24
Seems to Be Coming Into Heat
Teen girl #1: My French teacher is Ms. Smith*. I was like, “Please no!” I hate her so much, and she really sucks at teaching.
Teen girl #2: Oh yeah, I know. Plus, she looks like a monkey’s vagina.
Teen girl #1: Have you ever even seen a monkey’s vagina?
Teen girl #2: Yeah… I’ve seen her face.
–Promenade, Brooklyn Heights
Ad: Still the Healthiest Thing You Can Buy at McDonald’s
(man is eating, drug dealer sits at his table)
Dealer: An eight ball, right?
(man’s cell rings, he answers)
Man (into cell): I’m… at the gym. (pause) Yeah, and this call has made me one of those annoying people on the phone at the treadmills. I’ll call you later. (to dealer) Yeah, an eight ball.
–McDonald’s, The Village
Overheard by: soccerboy
If Only Because We’ll Never Have to Hear Gilbert Gottfried Again
Six-year-old boy: Words, words, words, words! One day, there will be no words.
Seven-year-old sister: That will be a beautiful day.
–2nd Ave & 7th St
Overheard by: shmarls
She’s Better With Multi-Part Answers Than I Am
Activist: Excuse me, do you have a minute for gay rights?
Little boy: Daddy, what’s gay rights?
Father: Umm… ask your mother.
–Bedford & N. 2nd, Williamsburg
