High school girl: On the internet, Nike will let you put your name on some dunks.
High school boy: They gonna let you put “hooker” on their shoe?
High school girl (pissed): I told you that ain’t my name!
–W. 72nd Station
Archive for 2008
…While Zach Played a Gay Porn Star on SVU
Thug to baby momma: You see, what had happened was Zack Morris married Kelly Kaposki in Vegas.
Baby momma: That’s what had happened?
Thug: Yeah, and then Kelly Kaposki changed her name and she stayed in Vegas.
–W. 117th & Lenox
Whatever Consenting Mammals May Do in the Privacy Of Their Own Stalls
Man #1: How about Jack the Horse?
Man #2: Jack the horse. Wait, Jack the Horse?
Man #1: Uhhhh…
Man #2: Jack like the verb? No way dude, not eating there.
–Jack the Horse Restaurant, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: avoid the hollandaise sauce
But Enough About My Chest
Asian girl: Oh my god, we had a physics quiz and I totally failed.
White girl: Wait, you mean like an Asian fail, right?
Asian girl: Yeah, I think I still have an A, but barely!
–NJ Transit
Apparently, Someone Has
Blonde hot guy: I hate Mary Poppins.
Girlfriend: Yeah, me too.
Blonde hot guy: Those people dancing around with broomsticks–they weren’t even witches. Yeah, fuck them.
–N Train
Overheard by: Leonidas
Are You Calling Me Gay?
African American man: Seeing someone get laid out on the street is a real New York City stereotype. Like if you flew to Texas and you got picked up by a cowboy on a horse.
African American woman: More like if the plane was a pickup truck and you get dragged behind it.
–Q74 Bus
In the Advanced Class, You’d Chew Gum at the Same Time
(woman #1 is having trouble walking in her very high heels)
Woman #2: Are those shoes channel?
Woman #1: Yes they are.
Woman #2: Wow. For that price, they should teach you how to walk in them.
–Park Ave & 57th St
Although One of Them Really Liked The Notebook
Man #1: You have kids?
Man #2: Yeah, four sons. All boys.
–Penn Station
Waitress: Stupid Gringas
Hipster girl #1 to waitress at Japanese restaurant: Hola. Como estas?
Hipster girl #2: Um, I don’t think they speak Spanish.
Hipster girl #1: Well, they sure as hell don’t speak English either.
–Zen, St. Mark’s & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: amf
Serves You Right for Trying to Be Tactful in New York
Woman leaving train to suit with open fly: (inaudible)
Suit (loudly): What is “the barn door is open?” What is that supposed to mean?
–6 Train
