Hipster #1: She sucked my dick right there.
Hipster #2: She was such a slut!
Hipster #1: Luckily for me.
Hipster #2: Most Texans are, though… that I’ve met…
–14th & 5th
Archive for 2008
Ummm, I’m the Pilot
Wife: Honey, she’s the waitress.
Annoyed husband: She is not the waitress.
Wife: Yes, she is.
Annoyed husband: She’s the stewardess.
–JetBlue, JFK
Overheard by: Jess McGins
K.D. Lang: So That’s What My Initials Stand For!
Canadian girl, about Project Runway: It really irritates me every time she says ‘auf Wiedersehen.’ I mean, get over yourself.
American girl: Yeah, that’s how we feel every time you say ‘Kraft dinner.’
–1 train
Pretty Much Their Business Model
Black chick #1: Where should we go?
Black chick #2: Oh, there’s a Victoria’s Secret over there.
Black chick #1: Oh, no, I don’t go to Victoria’s Secret. I don’t buy shit from Victoria’s Secret. Niggas buy shit for me from Victoria’s Secret.
–Manhattan Mall
Overheard by: britt/brat
Hey, Why Are We Arguing?
Man #1: It smells like feces in here.
Man #2: No, it doesn’t. It smells like a dead guy.
–Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: rebecca
Porn Stars, for Example
Little girl: Daddy, do people have white hair because they’re old?
Dad: Yes. And, in fact, some people like me have almost no hair at all.
–M86 bus, 86th & Lex
Overheard by: Jake
Where Have You Been?
Drunk, to queer: Fag!
Queer: … Dad?
–14th & 8th
Overheard by: Ray
The Great Glass Elevator Has Fucked with a Lot of People’s Transit Sensibilities
Man #1: We’ve got to get the L train goingleft!
Man #2: No, we’ve got to get the L train going right!
–C train platform, Penn Station
Overheard by: courtenay
I Fully Support You from a Safe Distance
Gay activist with clipboard: Hi there — do you have a minute for gay rights?
Suit: Not really, no.
–W 4th St & 6th Ave
But Is That “Fair Use”?
Guy with electric bass: This one’s real hard. Real hard. I’m gonna give whoever gets this one three dollars! Three dollars! [Sings] I can see clearly now the rain is gone…
Mother of three: Jimmy Cliff! Jimmy Cliff!
Guy with electric bass: Did you say ‘Jimmy Cliff’?! [Mumbling upon seeing her litter] Man, I wish she didn’t have so many babies… [Shouting to her again] You — you thought I said ‘rain.’ I said ‘train’ — I can see clearly now the train is gone… I wrote that, not Jimmy.
–2 train
Overheard by: jil
