Archive for 2008

Works Great With an Electric Sander

Boy #1: Dude, I want a personal ball-washer.
Boy #2: That’s not sexy. That shit hurts!
Boy #1: What hurts? Washing your balls does not hurt.
Boy #2: It does if you do a good job.
Boy #1: There’s something wrong with you.
Boy #2: It hurts if you get a good scrub in!
Boy #1: What kind of soap do you use?
Boy #2: Zest, cuz that shit smells delicious.

–67th & 2nd

Overheard by: glad i’m not a boy

Who Majors in Nineteenth Century Insecticides, Anyway?

NYU student #1: Who is Paris Green, anyway?
NYU student #2: Didn’t he manage the Yankees for a little while?
NYU student #3: That was Dallas Green.
NYU student #1: Are they related?
NYU student #3: They used to use Paris Green to kill rats.
NYU student #2: He was an exterminator?
NYU student #1: Either way, I fucked up the test.

–Starbucks, Greenwich Village

Overheard by: Big Larry

Moral Of the Story: When in Doubt, Guess “George”

Stoner #1: Okay, so George Bush is our President, right?
Stoner #2: Yeah.
Stoner #1: If the Vice President dies, who’s the President?
Stoner #2: Umm… George Washington.
(hysterical laughter)
Stoner #3: You bringing back niggas from the dead and shit.
Stoner #1: You just like my dad, we asked him who was the first President, he was like (imitates Asian accent) Oh, oh…okay, I know this, I know this… George Lincoln.

–Internet Cafe, Mott St.

Overheard by: Hugh