Archive for 2008

For Your In­for­ma­tion, I Can Mi­crowave In­stant Pas­ta with the Best of ‘Em!

Ital­ian Amer­i­can: You’re from Italy? I’m Ital­ian too.
Ital­ian tourist: You’re not Ital­ian.
Ital­ian Amer­i­can: What? You don’t think my fam­i­ly’s from Italy? Go fuck your­self.

–St. Mark’s Place

Over­heard by: Not Ital­ian

Well I’ve Been Try­ing to Cut Back on MSG

Woman to younger boyfriend: Hon­ey, that Chi­nese food that you brought over is still in my fridge. I was go­ing to throw it out.
Younger boyfriend: No, I’ll eat it.
Woman: You don’t think it’s gone bad?
Boyfriend: It’s on­ly two days old. You’re 31, and you haven’t gone bad yet.
Woman: That makes no sense, and in any event, you haven’t eat­en me in a while ei­ther.

–Up­per East Side