Archive for 2008

On­ly Matt Dil­lon’s Dick Has Been in Au­drey Hep­burn’s Ass

Hobo, in­ter­rupt­ing a guy and a girl: Ex­cuse me, could I bum a cig­a­rette or get some spare change?
Young man: I’m low on cash and sor­ry, but I have a cig­a­rette for you. (hands hobo a cig­a­rette) Do you need a light?
Hobo: Nope. (walks away)
(young man and woman con­tin­ue con­ver­sa­tion, hobo comes back and in­ter­rupts again)
Hobo: Can I ask you a ques­tion?
Young man: Shoot!
Hobo: What does Matt Da­mon’s dick look like in Au­drey Hep­burn’s ass?
Young woman: Trick ques­tion.
(hobo gives them the fin­ger, walks away)

–Cen­tral Park

Mel Was Just Set­ting Us Up for His DUI Bust

Black man #1, talk­ing about Mel Gib­son’s The Pas­sion of the Christ: Yo, you re­mem­ber the pros­ti­tute?
Black man #2: What?
Black man #1: The pros­ti­tute. He saved her life.
Black man #2: By the well, dog, get­ting wa­ter.
Black man #1: Right. Nig­gas is like, drink­ing beers, and they goin’ throw stones at her, ’til he be like, on­ly them that ain’t sinned can throw rocks, and they all backed down.
Black man #2: Yo, that shit was tight, man.

–Q Train

…Oh– Hi, Mom

Bus dri­ver: We have no more room on this bus. There is an­oth­er right be­hind me.
An­gry black woman in line: Let me on!
Bus dri­ver: Look, la­dy, there is no room on this bus!
An­gry black woman: You won’t let me on be­cause I’m black!
Black teen: It’s not be­cause you black, nig­ga, it’s be­cause you a stu­pid self­ish moth­er­fuc­ka.

–M14 Bus

Over­heard by: Stu­dent Teacher