Archive for 2008

New York Is Always First With New Cutting-Edge Minorities

Girl to older sister: Man, you have so many problems. Mom once said that otherwise she thought you could get all kinds of money for your eggs from infertile couples but you’re just, like, so messed up.
Older sister: Yeah, but whatever. I can understand why people don’t want eggs from an epileptic thyroidless girl. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’m excited to have my own potentially epileptic and thyroidless children, but other people just…don’t understand.
Girl: Yeah, your people are just so misunderstood.

–1 Train

Overheard by: I understand!

It’s Hard to Go Back to Vanilla Once You’ve Had M&M

Bouncer: What is *with* you tonight?
Girl promoting free comedy show: I had sex last night and I want everyone to be happy for me! His ball sack melted in my mouth! (to passerby) Free comedy show downstairs tonight! (a second later, screaming across the street) His ball sack melted in my mouth!

–Bleecker Street

Overheard by: Sarah Booz

Could We Get Through One Day Without Talking About Wolf-Mating?

20-something male of questionable sexuality: That’s such a cute dog! Hey, do you know where dogs come from?
Female best friend: Where?
20-something male of questionable sexuality: Wolves!
Female best friend: No way!
Male of questionable sexuality: Yeah!
Female best friend: How did that happen?
20-something male of questionable sexuality: I don’t know. I think two really small wolves mated or something.

–42nd St

Overheard by: Maddie’s Friend