Archive for 2008

New York Is Al­ways First With New Cut­ting-Edge Mi­nori­ties

Girl to old­er sis­ter: Man, you have so many prob­lems. Mom once said that oth­er­wise she thought you could get all kinds of mon­ey for your eggs from in­fer­tile cou­ples but you’re just, like, so messed up.
Old­er sis­ter: Yeah, but what­ev­er. I can un­der­stand why peo­ple don’t want eggs from an epilep­tic thy­roid­less girl. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’m ex­cit­ed to have my own po­ten­tial­ly epilep­tic and thy­roid­less chil­dren, but oth­er peo­ple just…don’t un­der­stand.
Girl: Yeah, your peo­ple are just so mis­un­der­stood.

–1 Train

Over­heard by: I un­der­stand!

It’s Hard to Go Back to Vanil­la Once You’ve Had M&M

Bounc­er: What is *with* you tonight?
Girl pro­mot­ing free com­e­dy show: I had sex last night and I want every­one to be hap­py for me! His ball sack melt­ed in my mouth! (to passer­by) Free com­e­dy show down­stairs tonight! (a sec­ond lat­er, scream­ing across the street) His ball sack melt­ed in my mouth!

–Bleeck­er Street

Over­heard by: Sarah Booz

Could We Get Through One Day With­out Talk­ing About Wolf-Mat­ing?

20-some­thing male of ques­tion­able sex­u­al­i­ty: That’s such a cute dog! Hey, do you know where dogs come from?
Fe­male best friend: Where?
20-some­thing male of ques­tion­able sex­u­al­i­ty: Wolves!
Fe­male best friend: No way!
Male of ques­tion­able sex­u­al­i­ty: Yeah!
Fe­male best friend: How did that hap­pen?
20-some­thing male of ques­tion­able sex­u­al­i­ty: I don’t know. I think two re­al­ly small wolves mat­ed or some­thing.

–42nd St

Over­heard by: Mad­die’s Friend