Archive for 2008

I Mean, It Was a Root Canal

Dude #1: Whoa, dude! On the first date? That’s like anal!
Dude #2: Nah, man, that’s like drilling her a new hole!

–Sil­ver Cen­ter, NYU

Over­heard by: Gid­get

Sir, You’re Bleed­ing

Woman in large fur coat: What the fuck is wrong with you? Se­ri­ous­ly! All you do is fuck­ing bitch!
Man in leather coat: Oh, go to hell, Ad­dy.
Woman: You fuck­ing ass­hole. Do you need a fuck­ing tam­pon? You want a tam­pon?! [Search­es through purse, finds tam­pon, and flings it at him.] Here you fuck­ing go!
Man catch­es passer­by star­ing: What the fuck are you look­ing at?!

–Chi­na­town

Over­heard by: Liz­Beth

Al­most As Skin­ny As My Con­science

Ex­ec­u­tive: You know, when you have a lot of mon­ey, you buy a lot of things you don’t need or don’t even ever use.
As­so­ciate: I know. I know ex­act­ly what you mean.
Ex­ec­u­tive: I mean, I buy clothes some­times that I’ve nev­er even worn. I give a lot of them to my house­keep­er.
As­so­ciate: Me, too. I give my small clothes to my house­keep­er — he’s very skin­ny.

–Cros­by & Spring

Over­heard by: Low­ly La­bor­er