Archive for 2008

I Mean, It Was a Root Canal

Dude #1: Whoa, dude! On the first date? That’s like anal!
Dude #2: Nah, man, that’s like drilling her a new hole!

–Silver Center, NYU

Overheard by: Gidget

Sir, You’re Bleeding

Woman in large fur coat: What the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously! All you do is fucking bitch!
Man in leather coat: Oh, go to hell, Addy.
Woman: You fucking asshole. Do you need a fucking tampon? You want a tampon?! [Searches through purse, finds tampon, and flings it at him.] Here you fucking go!
Man catches passerby staring: What the fuck are you looking at?!

–Chinatown

Overheard by: LizBeth

Almost As Skinny As My Conscience

Executive: You know, when you have a lot of money, you buy a lot of things you don’t need or don’t even ever use.
Associate: I know. I know exactly what you mean.
Executive: I mean, I buy clothes sometimes that I’ve never even worn. I give a lot of them to my housekeeper.
Associate: Me, too. I give my small clothes to my housekeeper — he’s very skinny.

–Crosby & Spring

Overheard by: Lowly Laborer

Wait ‘Til He Stumbles Upon the Human Elephantitis Gallery

Queer teen #1: Yo, when I went to Yellowstone, I took this pic of a buffalo from behind, so you can see the balls hangin’ down and everything! It’s awesome!
Queer teen #2: What? That’s the single worst thing I ever heard! You sick, man. Damn.
Queer teen #1: What the fuck are you talkin’ ’bout? It’s the best pic ever! I made it my desktop! Buffalo balls are cool!

–Garfield & 7th Ave, Park Slope

Overheard by: Mike N