Archive for 2008

You Think Crack Might Be Part Of the Problem?

Blonde #1 to blonde #2: Lisa looks so tired, and has black circles under her eyes! Her skin is so pale, and it’s the middle of the summer! I told her to get her hair cut, get a mani/pedi, and join a gym. But she doesn’t listen. I don’t understand! Why does she look so terrible?
Blonde #2: She’s terrible looking, dude, that’s why she looks so terrible.
Blonde #1: I guess that’s a reason.

–C Train

From The Princess and the Porcupine: a West Villlage Fairy Tale

Girl with crazy hair: It would be freaking magnificent if your cats stopped chowing down my precious toilet paper every morning.
Huge bald man: What are you, drunk? I paid for it.
Girl with crazy hair: Not important. Had to use the emergency roll and it was like rubbing porcupines on my twat.
Huge bald man: Sandpaper, maybe. Porcupines, not so much.

–Washington St & Charles St