Archive for 2008

Little Did She Know, How Close She Actually Came to Catching “Hobo”

Hobo: Yo baby, I’ll give you this dollar if you give me that Coke.
Woman (holding a half-empty bottle of Diet Coke): Uh, no.
Hobo: Then at least go out to dinner with me!
Woman: No.
Hobo: Bitch, I’m a self-made millionaire! Fuck you!
Woman (walking away quickly): I knew I shouldn’t have made eye contact.


Overheard by: Britta

Spoken Like Someone Who’s Never Seen a Cabbie Drive

Daughter: Okay. So we’ve got to take the n uptown. It should be arriving on this track soon.
Tourist mom: But that sign says the n goes to Queens. I don’t wanna to to Queens.
Daughter: Yes, it goes to Queens but we’re getting off way before then. It just ends in Queens, don’t worry.
Tourist mom: Don’t worry?! The sign says the n goes to Queens. And that it’s an express! An express to Queens?! I don’t think so. Let’s just go take a cab…it’ll be safer.

–Herald Square Subway Station

Overheard by: vmorgs

From Complaining About the Discharge?

Patient: I think my boyfriend and I have contracted either gonorrhea or chlamydia.
Doctor: What makes you say that?
Patient: Well, he’s having kind of a pussy discharge from his penis and a burning sensation when he urinates.
Doctor: And what symptoms have you been having?
Patient: Well, I’ve had a sore throat…

–NYU Medical Center

Overheard by: The nurse who just had to hear this story…

How You Know Your Little Boy is Straight

Employee: I like your pink shirt.
Coworker’s 9‑year-old nephew: It’s not pink; it’s white with pink and green stripes.
Employee: So you like to wear pink?
Coworker’s 9‑year-old nephew: My shirt *isn’t* pink! (now shouting) It’s white with pink and green stripes and it takes a real man to wear pink!

–Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Synitta Walker