Surprised Teen, after a lengthy conversation between her friend and guy friend: He’s gay?
Friend: Mmmhmm…
Surprised Teen: Can’t be! He’s soooo nice!
–Penn Station
Surprised Teen, after a lengthy conversation between her friend and guy friend: He’s gay?
Friend: Mmmhmm…
Surprised Teen: Can’t be! He’s soooo nice!
–Penn Station
Hobo: Yo baby, I’ll give you this dollar if you give me that Coke.
Woman (holding a half-empty bottle of Diet Coke): Uh, no.
Hobo: Then at least go out to dinner with me!
Woman: No.
Hobo: Bitch, I’m a self-made millionaire! Fuck you!
Woman (walking away quickly): I knew I shouldn’t have made eye contact.
–Chinatown
Overheard by: Britta
MTA worker: Back in the day, cops let those gangs use all kinds of shit–chains, knives, pipes–but no guns. These days I’m afraid to let my son go out.
Young mom: Shit, you gotta be afraid for your daughter–some bitch tried to stab me two days ago!
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: conspicuous white guy
Daughter: Okay. So we’ve got to take the n uptown. It should be arriving on this track soon.
Tourist mom: But that sign says the n goes to Queens. I don’t wanna to to Queens.
Daughter: Yes, it goes to Queens but we’re getting off way before then. It just ends in Queens, don’t worry.
Tourist mom: Don’t worry?! The sign says the n goes to Queens. And that it’s an express! An express to Queens?! I don’t think so. Let’s just go take a cab…it’ll be safer.
–Herald Square Subway Station
Overheard by: vmorgs
Elegantly dressed French lady, speaking to New York Bus Service representative: Excuse me, when does the bus arrive?
Overweight representative, screaming: The port authoritah bus come ‘erry ha’f hour!
Elegantly dressed French lady (pausing and turning to French friend): Wow. And I thought my English sucked.
–Terminal One, JFK
Overheard by: James
Girl #1: Did you get tested for AIDS?
Girl #2: Yes, but they haven’t gotten back to me yet.
Girl #1: Dammit! Why did i drink from your water bottle?
–74th & Riverside
Overheard by: a fox
Man on date: I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but since I was little I had an imaginary friend named Picoletto.
Woman he’s dating: Holy shit! You know Pico!
–McDonald’s, Times Square
Overheard by: JP
Asian Guy #1: You know what I wanna watch?
Ditzy Asian Teen: What?
Asian Guy #1: Talladega Nights.
Asian Guy #2: The story of a man who could only count to one!
Ditzy Asian Teen: Really? There’s a story like that?
–68th & Lexington
Overheard by: dog run
Patient: I think my boyfriend and I have contracted either gonorrhea or chlamydia.
Doctor: What makes you say that?
Patient: Well, he’s having kind of a pussy discharge from his penis and a burning sensation when he urinates.
Doctor: And what symptoms have you been having?
Patient: Well, I’ve had a sore throat…
–NYU Medical Center
Overheard by: The nurse who just had to hear this story…
Kid on bicycle which is far too big for him to guy jogging by: Damn, mister, it’s too hot to be running…wanna buy a bike?
–Carmine & 7th Ave
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist