Little kid to passerby: Poop! Bye bye, poopie!
Obnoxious girl, stopping in middle of street and glaring at kid: Did she just call me a poop? What the hell!
Girl’s friend: “Poopie,” not poop.
–Little Italy
Archive for March, 2009
Sleep Comes Easy Once Your Conscience Dies
Bragging lawyer: That’s what Americans think about Africa. That it’s all animals and shit.
(later) I could sleep like a baby in Vietnam! Easy.
–Starbucks, 14th St
Overheard by: Elizabel
Recession What?
Two-year-old boy: Do you want to see my BlackBerry?
Babysitter: You have a BlackBerry?
Two-year-old boy: Yeah! I have a BlackBerry!
–Lincoln Center
But That’s on Purpose.
Old lady being pushed into the train: Young man, you are crushing my package.
Young man: Lady, you’re crushing my package, too.
–1 Train
Remember That Time You Quoted Byron While We Were Drinking Those Giant Margaritas?
Girl #1: …like that time we saw Zack and Miri make a porno.
Girl #2: That was pretty deep.
Girl #1: But not as deep as Cancun.
Girl #2: True, true.
–Times Square
You’d Better Not Be Writing Your Novel in There!
Man outside stall to presumed child: Okay champ, have you done your business in there?
Very deep voice from stall: Still working on it, thanks!
–Men’s Room, Grand Central Station
We Have Either the Bible, Marie Claire, or a Book Of Crossword Puzzles
Sales associate #1, assisting a customer: Are there any good thrillers in paperback?
Sales associate #2: No.
–Grand Central Terminal
Overheard by: Jake E
Wednesday Is Gin Day.
Drunk hobo, eyeing designer bottled water: Hey lady, is that all vodka?
UES lady, without missing a beat: Not this morning.
–4 Train
Overheard by: austin
But First We Should Get High
Girl to gay guy: If you were a bird, you would totally be one that wore a tuxedo every day.
Gay guy: Lets go to the Bronx Zoo.
–45th & Lexington
Overheard by: CBro
Starbucks Needs a Numbered Menu– Just Sayin’
Customer: I’ll have a skim cafe au lait.
Barista: We call it a “cafe misto” here.
Cashier: Yeah, I think “cafe au lait” is Italian.
–Starbucks
