Teacher, looking at photo: Ahhh, was this taken in Russia?
Student: No, that’s Coney Island.
–Stuyvesant High School
Teacher, looking at photo: Ahhh, was this taken in Russia?
Student: No, that’s Coney Island.
–Stuyvesant High School
Girl to boyfriend mocking her for not swiping credit card properly: Ken! Don’t you dare make fun of me!! I’ve had a really hard day!
Ken: Why? What happened?
Girl, choking: I failed my mid-terms. (suddenly swipes her card angrily) All I want right now is my Cosmopolitan and candy bar. That’s all I ask of life!
–Store, 59th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Frank S
Dude: So I was like, “Whoa!“
Chick: And then I was like, “Whoa!“
Dude: And then we were both like, “Whoa!”
–Caesar’s Bay, Brooklyn
Girl selling at bake sale #1: This is so stupid. No one wants anything.
Security guard: That’s cause you’re doin’ it all wrong.
Girl selling at bake sale #2: Oh yeah? What should we do?
Security guard: Next person that passes, be like “Yo! I got your brownie!” then when they come over, give it to them and be like “Aight, that’s two dollars.”
–Manhattan College, The Bronx
Drunk guy #1: Don’t take this the wrong way, but I really want to take you home tonight.
Drunk guy #2: How am I supposed to take that?
Drunk guy #1, seriously: In the ass.
–F Train
Customer to employee: Excuse me, are these zucchini?
Employee: No, they’re pickles.
Customer: Are you sure? They look like zucchini!
Employee: Yes, they’re pickles.
Customer: Oh. (pause) Do they taste like zucchini?
Employee, after long pause: Yes. Yeah…pickles tastes like zucchini.
–Balducci’s Restaurant
Female undergrad #1: How was your first date with that new guy?
Female undergrad #2: Really great! I must really like him, because I didn’t sleep with him.
–NYU
Woman in Santa Claus costume, looking lost: Excuse me, honey, do you live around here?
Girl: Yeah.
Woman in Santa Claus costume: Do you know where there’s a bar called Johnson, or Hold My Johnson, or something?
Girl, laughing: Johnson’s? It’s right across the street.
–Rivington St
Overheard by: hahahaha
Girl to cashier: Do you have any locations in North Carolina?
Cashier to girl: No, we only have locations on the East and West coasts.
–Store, Grand Central
Annoyed woman: And then there’s that one guy, that creepy guy who’s always harassing me.
Confused man: Who?
Annoyed woman: That guy, he’s really pale.
Confused man: Oh, is this the albino guy?
Annoyed: No, no, the albino guy is cool. It’s that film student.
Confused man: The guy who works at Anderson’s?
Annoyed woman: No, that’s the other one. He’s all right, that guy’s all right.
–R Train
Overheard by: Hannah
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist