Archive for August, 2009

80’s Pop: The Uni­ver­sal Lan­guage

Black dude in deli, lis­ten­ing to Michael Jack­son on ra­dio: I can’t hear an­oth­er Michael Jack­son song.
Arab guy be­hind counter: How old are you?
Black dude: 25.
Arab guy: See, I’m 37. When I was five, un­til 15, this was all that was play­ing.
(Bil­lie Jean is now play­ing) “Don’t go around break­ing young girls’ hearts!“
Black dude: Too late.

–Brook­lyn

And It Won’t Get the Se­men Out of My Eye

Teenag­er #1: I said “my fault.“
Teenag­er #2: You said “my bad”? “My bad” is not “I’m sor­ry”!

–Penn Sta­tion

Head­line by: Ty

Run­ners-Up:
· “Ac­tu­al­ly, “My Bad” Is Like the Hawai­ian “Alo­ha” …” — erkala
· “And That’s How Gram­my and Grampy Made Me, Kids” — Kam
· “The Bush Twins Learned Ear­ly From Their Fa­ther.…” — Lani Wa­ters
· “The Fact That a Teenag­er Apol­o­gized Should Be Enough” — shenani­gans
· “Yeah, Ju­das!” — mk

Click here to see the new Head­line Con­test

Even the Dogs Can Re­cite This Sto­ry by Now

Mid­dle aged dad: Re­minds me of some­thing I saw around 1968. This hip­pie had two dogs…
Teenage daugh­ter, in­ter­rupt­ing: One was named Shit­sy Mc­Fuck and the oth­er was named Fucksy Mc­Shit.
Mid­dle aged dad: I guess I told you that sto­ry be­fore, huh?
Teenage daugh­ter: So many times, I can’t be­lieve you’re not in a nurs­ing home.

–In Line to see Art Ex­hi­bi­tion, W46th St

Over­heard by: Big Lar­ry