And My Mom’s My Dealer.

Guy #1: Can you believe this guy was texting his drug dealer when he hit a guy on a bicycle?
Guy #2: To be fair, that could of happened to any of us.
Guy #1: I don’t text that much.

–57^th & Lexington

Your Editors Have Gotten Used to Doing Both

Drunk freshman #1: Dude, work was awful today. Usually I just sit there and drink, today I had to actually do shit. It was bad.
Drunk freshman #2, earnestly: Yo, that sucks dick, man!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Janine

Did the NBA Start Drafting White People?

White volunteer tutor from Princeton: So imagine I’m trying out for the basketball team…
Black student #1: You play basketball?
Black student #2: Do you play tennis?
Black student #1: That’s racist!

–Public High School, Queens

Facebook Calls It “Unfriending With Extreme Prejudice”

20-something hipster girl #1: What’s up with that girl you used to live with?
20-something hipster girl #2: Well, it’s not like I still talk to her… She won’t add me on Facebook.
20-something hipster girl #1: Why not?!
20-something hipster girl #2: She tried to kill me!

–M86 Bus

Overheard by: emily darwin

Though I Did Pray for a Black President…

Religious woman preaching while holding a bible: Prayer heals everything.
Black man, looking tired after a hard day at work: No, it don’t!

–DeKalb Ave

Overheard by: Becky Z‑Dub

But Straightjacket Bridal Gowns Are So Hot This Year

Very loud woman: He don’t wanna marry me, I’m crazy!
Woman sitting next: Ha ha… (then quietly) I know.

–Penn Station

Social Commentary, OINY Style

Ghetto-fabulous girl #1: Oh my god! I love this floor. It is so nice. And the people. They are so beautiful, every one of them!
Ghetto-fabulous girl #2: Mmm-hmm! And they dress so good – all professional.
Ghetto-fabulous girl #1: Damn! I bet they’ve got health insurance and shit!

–41^st St & Madison

…In Happier Times.

Lady screaming at boyfriend: No! You don’t understand I already tried my card that way? It’s not working!
Guy walking by to girlfriend: Wow, that sounds like us!

–63^rd St

On My Mom’s Side

Woman to stylish man walking past: You look like a designer!
Man: Thanks.
Woman: Are you a designer?
Man, about five feet past: Kind of.

–Houston & Ludlow

The Equally Unpleasant Male Equivalent Of a “Little Dick” Insult

Aspiring street musician: Hey, lady! Wanna buy my CD?
Lady: Nope! That shit’s rap and I only like R&B!
Aspiring street musician: Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn’t be outside with your pussy smelling like that!

–Outside Macy’s

Overheard by: Nick Spiller