Guy #1: Can you believe this guy was texting his drug dealer when he hit a guy on a bicycle?
Guy #2: To be fair, that could of happened to any of us.
Guy #1: I don’t text that much.
–57th & Lexington
Archive for 2009
Your Editors Have Gotten Used to Doing Both
Drunk freshman #1: Dude, work was awful today. Usually I just sit there and drink, today I had to actually do shit. It was bad.
Drunk freshman #2, earnestly: Yo, that sucks dick, man!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Janine
Did the NBA Start Drafting White People?
White volunteer tutor from Princeton: So imagine I’m trying out for the basketball team…
Black student #1: You play basketball?
Black student #2: Do you play tennis?
Black student #1: That’s racist!
–Public High School, Queens
Facebook Calls It “Unfriending With Extreme Prejudice”
20-something hipster girl #1: What’s up with that girl you used to live with?
20-something hipster girl #2: Well, it’s not like I still talk to her… She won’t add me on Facebook.
20-something hipster girl #1: Why not?!
20-something hipster girl #2: She tried to kill me!
–M86 Bus
Overheard by: emily darwin
Though I Did Pray for a Black President…
Religious woman preaching while holding a bible: Prayer heals everything.
Black man, looking tired after a hard day at work: No, it don’t!
–DeKalb Ave
Overheard by: Becky Z‑Dub
But Straightjacket Bridal Gowns Are So Hot This Year
Very loud woman: He don’t wanna marry me, I’m crazy!
Woman sitting next: Ha ha… (then quietly) I know.
–Penn Station
Social Commentary, OINY Style
Ghetto-fabulous girl #1: Oh my god! I love this floor. It is so nice. And the people. They are so beautiful, every one of them!
Ghetto-fabulous girl #2: Mmm-hmm! And they dress so good–all professional.
Ghetto-fabulous girl #1: Damn! I bet they’ve got health insurance and shit!
–41st St & Madison
…In Happier Times.
Lady screaming at boyfriend: No! You don’t understand I already tried my card that way? It’s not working!
Guy walking by to girlfriend: Wow, that sounds like us!
–63rd St
On My Mom’s Side
Woman to stylish man walking past: You look like a designer!
Man: Thanks.
Woman: Are you a designer?
Man, about five feet past: Kind of.
–Houston & Ludlow
The Equally Unpleasant Male Equivalent Of a “Little Dick” Insult
Aspiring street musician: Hey, lady! Wanna buy my CD?
Lady: Nope! That shit’s rap and I only like R&B!
Aspiring street musician: Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn’t be outside with your pussy smelling like that!
–Outside Macy’s
Overheard by: Nick Spiller
