Guy in suit #1: Well, at least it's Thursday.
(short pause)
Guy in suit #2: It's Wednesday, dude.
Guy in suit #1: (incredibly deep sigh)
–M15 Bus
Overheard by: Jess
Archive for 2009
The Wayans Brothers Are the Most Important Social Commentators Of Our Time
Older hipster film snob: I am trying to watch all those movies they made about the Iraq War in the last few years. I just finished rendition and I thought Stop Loss was this really poignant picture of the way soldiers have dealt with the renewed tours.
Friend: Oh, yeah? You know what movie looks really good? I think it is still in theaters. Dance Flick.
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
As Youngsters, the Kardashians Were Pretty Much the Way They Are Today
Eight-year-old sister: Oh, I'm telling momma that you been mean to that boy and you been cussin'! She'll take your allowance away!
Eight-year-old brother: Fuck you! Suck my dick!
Eight-year-old sister: I'll take your allowance and your dick!
–Tompkins Ave & Flushing Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: pechewychomp
Want Me to Crush Up Some More Xanax in Applesauce for You?
Angry mom holding to seven-year-old daughter: It's fucking hot!
Seven-year-old daughter: It's okay, mom. It'll be okay.
–Rego Park, Queens
Note: This Message Was Not Approved by Barack Obama
Teenager, fighting with security: Fuck you! Fuck all y'all! Obama, baby! (storms out)
Preppy guy: See, this is why I vote Republican.
–14th St & Union Square
Also How Joe Biden Tries to Make Friends
Old man to passing girl: Boo!
(girlfriend shrieks, old man lets out an evil, villain laugh. Girl and her boyfriend walk away quickly, boyfriend chuckling)
Old man, looking back at them as they walk away: Hahahaha! No, no wait! Wait, I'm sorry! I'm sorrryyy!
–77th St & Broadway
Her Inhaler, for Instance.
Blonde chick: So…isn't she going to want her stuff back?
Dude with cute voice: Actually…she doesn't know I have most of her stuff.
–Broadway & 28th St
Overheard by: Stormy
Sinners Are Always More Sinful on the Other Side Of the Door
Crazy Jesus guy: Repent! Judgment is upon us, and we are all sinners!
Suit: Hey, there are some sinners in the next car.
Crazy Jesus guy: We indulge in things, and it's a sin!
Suit: Some really bad sinners.
Crazy Jesus guy: Repent!
Suit: They're just there in the next car.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: Nora
Um, I Meant with the Stock Market.
Suit #1: Hey, did you hear about what happened yesterday?
Suit #2: Yeah, I did, and the amazing part is that female sex offenders exist–that's crazy!
–City Hall Park
Overheard by: Amused Onlooker
A Cute Little Mom and Pop Quote
Mother to teenage burnout daughter, holding corn pops: I'm not buying these for you… they're like styrofoam!
Teenage burnout daughter, yelling down aisle: They're delicious! And I dreamed about them last night!
(mother puts cereal back into cart and dances to her cell phone ringtone)
–Gristedes, 168th St