Woman wearing polo and running shorts: I'm stylin', honey!
Husband: That's what Rihanna wears.
–69th St & Lexington
Archive for 2009
Reason #2948 to Have a Gay Friend
Doctor #1: So when are you leaving for England?
Doctor #2: Oh, not till next week.
Doctor #1: Oh my god, then we can totally have a tea party!
–Children's Hospital
Overheard by: i want a tea party
Submitter Stole Our Damn Headline
Black guy: I prefer to keep my lesbianism in question. Sort of like a wave function.
White girl, cutting him off: Ah! Don't talk about wave functions ever!
–Hunter College
Overheard by: but keep talking about the lesbianism
I Like to Think Of Them As Little Hugs from God
Girl putting mayonnaise on cheeseburger: Ugh, I'm gonna have a heart attack after this.
Friend eating Pierogis: Oh, I have heart attacks like, every day.
–Little Poland Restaurant
Overheard by: Adriana
Doesn't It, Like, Interfere with Daily Life?
Average 20-something woman: So they ordered from that Chinese place for lunch.
Too-skinny 20-something: Isn't that the third time this week?
Average 20-something woman: I don't understand the fascination with eating from the same place three times a week.
Too-skinny 20-something: I don't understand the fascination with eating a meal three times a week.
–L Train
Overheard by: Rina
Western Civilization As We Know It Would Crumble!
Bro #1: Yo, Michael Jackson just died! He's dead!
Bro #2: No way! Oh man… Well, as long as it's not Dave Matthews…
–LIRR
Overheard by: fungus
It's a Different Kind Of Head Shop
Boys in group, walking past novelty shop: Booong! Booong! Booong!
Irate friend: That's not a bong, that's a dildo, dumbass!
–6th Ave & W 4th St
Overheard by: theincredilbong
…And Our Kids Are Still Babies.
Girlfriend: I want to have four kids and live in Nantucket, is that too much to ask?
Not-so-much-anymore boyfriend: Ugh… Please, don't talk to me about this now.
Girlfriend: Why? What's so wrong with having a life goal with you?
Not-so-much-anymore boyfriend: Because we are 14.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Anna
It's Almost Like You Think We're Allowed to Speak Freely in This Country!
Crazy lady: You are the rudest, most obnoxious person I have ever encountered. I want to speak to your manager.
African American cashier: Okay, then go speak to him.
Crazy lady: You know just because Obama got elected, you can't have an attitude like that.
–Banana Republic
Overheard by: Jelly W
…That's an S&M Thing, Right?
Dude, hitting on girl: So, I'm going to NYU to study for my master's.
Girl, with dim-witted enthusiasm: I want a master's!
–Bleecker & Lafayette