Girl #1: You called me a cow!
Girl #2: You called me a cow five times!
Boy: Why do girls fight? I mean, like, boys never fight.
–Central Park
Overheard by: boysfight
Archive for 2009
NewsFlash: Cop Is Less Than Truthful. Film at 11.
Cop to woman who has just dropped something: Ma'am! (points)
Woman: Oh! Thanks.
Cop: Wait–was that cash?
Woman: Yeah.
Cop: Oh… that was already there.
–Chambers Street Station
Overheard by: Mader
Let's Make This Train Ride Irritating for Everyone
Guy: You know, with that blue polo, you look exactly like Billy Mays. Say, “OxiClean.”
Bearded guy, yelling: Billy Mays here for OxiClean! Wait, no. (clears throat) Billy Mays here…
–E Train
Overheard by: pete
Guess Which Girl Is the Republican
Girl #1: But I don't have health insurance.
Girl #2: I don't think it's that big of a deal. Just be really careful.
–W 70th St
Translation: “I Can't Wait to Move Away from You”
Mother: So it goes Groton, Exeter, then Andover. That's your priority list right?
Five-year-old boy: Right.
–88th St & Lexington Ave
That Would Be a Great Name for an All-Male Revue
Young white guy to sweating black FedEx delivery man in elevator: Wow, it's really hot outside, no?
Sweating black FedEx man: Man, it's a brotisserie.
–78th St & Madison Ave
I Love a Girl Who Knows What She Wants!
Guy to passerby with Victoria's Secret bag: Hey, where is there a Victoria's Secret around here?
Passerby: A couple blocks down on 5th.
Guy to girlfriend: Come on, we're going to Victoria's Secret.
Girlfriend: Hell no, I'm not going to Victoria's Secret, I'm going to McDonald's and I'm gonna supersize it.
–23rd & 6th
Raise Your Hand If You Would Have Interpreted “What Would You Do to Get Off?” a Lot Differently
Girl #1: And then the interviewer asked me, “if you were on a deserted island with five handicapped people, what would you do to get off?” I was like “I don't know. We're screwed.”
Girl #2: Wow.
Girl #1: Seriously. We would be screwed. I would just sit under a palm tree and pray or make smoke signals or something.
Girl #2: Yeah, I don't know what I would do either.
Girl #1: Well at least she said my answer was funny. Then she told me about the time she asked that question to some girl. Her response was that she would take all the people who had Down syndrome and use them as a raft to float to safety.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: James
Ooo, Is That Excrement?!
Lady #1: It smells so nice here!
Lady #2: That would be the sewage.
–Canal St
But at Least You Didn't Accidentally Drink the Nair This Time
Middle-aged blonde woman: We had a bottle of Nair and beer bottles in the shower. Woke up hungover, with no hair, in my underwear.
Middle-aged brunette woman: That's just sad.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Markle