Little boy to father: When I get ice cream I am not going to give anyone any of it!
Father: Sharing is good.
Little boy: No. It's not!
–Union Square
Overheard by: daveB
Archive for 2009
But Gaping Wounds Are in This Season!
Preppy drunk blond #1 in ladies room: Oh my god! How are you? It's been so long since I've seen you!
Preppy drunk blond #2: Oh my god, I'm great! When I noticed I was bleeding I decided to come in here and wash my face!
–Circle Line Cruise
Overheard by: nika
I'll Pass That on to Your Dad, Honey
Mother: People that live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
Seven-year-old son: They shouldn't be naked either.
Mother: Um, that too.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Rob A.
Why Sit-Ins Originated in Ancient Greece
Hip girl: They're playing a lot of songs about anal sex.
Hip guy: Wait, what?
Hip girl: You know, “move to the back of the bus” is anal sex.
Hip guy: This song is about Rosa Parks.
Hip girl: Seriously?
Hip guy: It's called “Rosa Parks.”
Hip girl: Well, Rosa Parks must have liked it in the ass. That's probably why she had to sit.
–Greenpoint
Wow, You Sure Do Know a Lot About Sex!
NYU girl #1: Yeah, I actually went through with it.
NYU girl #2: Oh god, did it hurt?
NYU girl #1: It was really nice feeling actually. The stuff was warm, but when it started taking effect it was like ear diarrhea.
–NYU
Overheard by: interesting
'Cause I Still Got the Pus-sy
Girl #1: And then I told him no way. I was through with him staying overnight at other girls houses.
Girl #2: But as long as he comes back to your house at night it's okay?
Girl #1: Yup.
–5th St & Lexington Ave
You Gotta Be Pope for the Big Guy to Visit
Older Indian guy: So how was your Christmas?
Younger security guard: Good! It was real nice.
Older Indian guy: So, did Jesus come to see you?
Younger security guard: Nah, but some of my relatives stopped by, so it was still pretty nice.
–6th Ave
Overheard by: the last boyscout
Reader Poll: Are They Having a Good Night or a Bad Night?
Punk kid #1, annoyed: Maaaan, I gotta go to a party tonight.
Punk kid #2, irritated: I just made out with a girl!
–Battery Park
Insists on Wearing Crocs
Friend pushing cart to little girl: Get your feet out of the way! C'mon!
Mom of little girl: No, it's okay. She don't love her feet.
–F Train
Overheard by: Jaxx
Wednesday One-Liners Get Jiggly With It
Dude: Do boobs need a reason?
–Perdition bar, 49th & 10th
Overheard by: Brokeass Harem
Guy: This is high school. Breasts are usually an effective way of determining gender.
–Stuyvesant High School
Old woman with Julie Andrews accent: I used to be quite buxom!
–Chinese Restaurant, 55th & 6th
Wife to husband: Did you see the tits on that Santa?
–Outside Penn Station, During SantaCon
Curvy woman on cell: Accessories? Oh please. My breasts are accessory enough.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: McFreaky