Guy to stranger, about girl who just left: Yo, that your girl?
Stranger: Nah, she a friend.
(silence)
Guy: She look like her mother?
Stranger: Does she?
Guy: I don't know, I'm asking you.
–McDonald's, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Julio C
Archive for 2009
Time to Puke Into the Wind
Drunk hooligan: So are you ladies from Staten Island?
Group of college ladies: Um, sorry dude, we're not that drunk, please go away.
Drunk hooligan, walking away: I've never been shut down buy so many 6's in my life.
–Staten Island Ferry
Men Usually Win the Low-Expectations Game
Woman: Well, I hope they have tables…
Man: I hope they have shots.
–3rd & 17th
And You Know What Men Say About Girls With Small Fingers
Prudish girl #1: The only good thing about having small fingers is that you can get away with a small rock.
Prudish girl #2: Oh, totally.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Luke
…So Who's My Daddy This Week?
Ghetto mother: Say goodbye to your daddy because you ain't never gonna see him again.
Ghetto child: Bye daddy!
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal
Overheard by: Ashley
She's Beautiful, but I'm Thin
Woman: So, my boyfriend has been listening to the Dreamgirls soundtrack all week. He loves that Jennifer Hudson song.
Guy friend: He's gay?
Woman: He is not gay.
Guy friend: Yeah, maybe he just thinks Jennifer Hudson is hot.
Woman: Oh god. He is gay!
–23rd & 6th
…And You Refused to Ask That Guy for Directions.
Asian girlfriend: Do you know where you're going? Are you gonna get me lost again?
Ghetto Asian boyfriend: I know what I'm doing.
Asian girlfriend: That's what you said when we were in bed.
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Adriana
I'm Not Even in Heat
Man running by with dog to teenage girl: Woof!
Teenage girl to friend: He better have been talking to the dog.
–Central Park
As It Clearly States on the School Crest
Teen girl #1: Yo, how is learning how to make 3d shapes and stuff gonna help us become doctors? I joined Brooklyn Tech gateway to take AP classes, go to a good college, and be rich in life. Whoopy-de-do, I know how to create a 3d table! My life is mad cool now!
Teen girl #2: Word. Dis is bullshit, but hey at least we smarta dan dem otha bitches.
Teen girl #1 True dat, true dat.
–14th & 5th
This Cannot End Well
10-year old boy: Hey Melissa, I'm wearing a cup.
7-year old girl: Really? Where? Can I feel?
10-year old boy: Over my who-who, yeah you can.
7-year old girl, grabbing cup: Oh, I like that… but why is it so hard?
–Kingsbay Football Field, Brooklyn