Thugette, calling back friend's toddler: Come here, you drunken monkey!
Child's mother: Don't call her a monkey!
–H&M Fitting Room
Archive for 2009
I Know That, but My Penis Doesn't
Guy on cell: Dude, I am so gonna punish that pussy.
Girl sitting next to him, texting: You know you have a small penis, right?
–L Train
Overheard by: Caged Monkey
That Was a Close One. Too Close.
Cashier: I'm worried I'm going to get pregnant when I least expect it. It's just going to sneak up on me. And, bam! I'm knocked up! You pregnant?
Cashier's friend: No, but my sister is.
–Old Navy, SoHo
The Jersey Don't Lie
Yankee fan #1, in crowded station exit: I think this is the way to Yankee Stadium.
Yankee fan #2, pointing to guy in Jeter jersey: Yeah, there's Derek Jeter up there.
–B/D Station, 161st St
Overheard by: Xiao Hoah Dze
You're in Brooklyn– What Do You Think?
Middle aged woman from out of town: I don't think there are any theaters around here.
Middle aged man with large open map: Maybe. Are we still in New York?
–Broadway Junction
Overheard by: Nikki
You're Gonna Find Out Who Killed Mr. Boddy, and You're Gonna Like It!
Teenage boy #1: Hey, let's go to my house.
Teenage boy #2: Why?
Teenage boy #1: To play a boardgame.
Teenage boy #2: I'm not playing a fucking boardgame!
Teenage boy #1: Yes you are!
–Barnes & Noble
Like Every Good Thing
Boy: Mommy, mommy, I want this! (goes to grab rock candy from bulk candy containers)
Mom: Put that down immediately, it has alcohol in it.
–Dylan's Candy Bar
Overheard by: Ben
Ironically, This Turned Into a Domestic Dispute.
Woman: Well, I'm concerned about foreign policy.
Man: Of course, you can make anything into a foreign policy issue. The environment… foreign policy… What does that even mean?
–Sweet Melissa, Brooklyn
Ssshhh! DSS Is Listening.
Mother: Honey, put on your shirt. This is a shirt and shoes kind of place.
Small boy: But you let me at home!
–Brooklyn Botanical Garden
Overheard by: Jonathan K.
You May Change Your Mind
Young cashier: Have a nice day!
Small old lady: What's so nice about it?
Young cashier: That you're still alive.
–W 90th St