Girl #1: Oh my god! It was so big I could feel it in my throat!
Girl #2: I know, I call it his third leg.
–JFK Airport
Archive for 2009
Only in the Star Trek Sense
Dude #1, while crossing Yankee stadium: Dude, are we in Staten Island yet?
Dude #2: Are you retarded?
–4 Train
All My Cowfriends Have It
Girl #1: It's called “foot and mouth disease,” isn't that gross? I so don't want to get that!
Girl #2: Ewww! What is it?
Girl #1: I don't know, but it sounds disgusting!
–M Train
Overheard by: Dara
Luckily, They're the Only Two People Who Can Stand Each Other
20-something redhead to friend, while texting: Wait… Maryland is down, and New York is up, right? I mean map-wise.
Friend: What the fuck?
20-something redhead, no longer texting: I had so much fun tonight. Can we do this again… lately?
Friend: Uhhh, do you mean “soon”?
20-something redhead: Yeah. Soon, lately, you know what I mean.
–Windsor Court, Murray Hill
We Finished the Cashews. That's a Pen.
Woman #1: These almonds are great.
Woman #2: These are cashews. We finished all the almonds earlier.
Woman #1: These cashews are great.
–Grand Central
Would “Your Lips!!!” Be an Inappropriate Answer?
Customer: I'd like a footlong meatball sub on wheat.
Manager: What would you like on your balls, sir?
–Subway Restaurant
Overheard by: Mondoman
It's in a Bucket Labeled “KFC”
Georgia hick: We need to see if our animals are here.
Flight attendant: Um, how many do you have?
Georgia hick: One. A chicken.
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: Dave
For Instance, If She's a Relative.
20-something guy #1: You don't go to see a bitch without a condom.
20-something guy #2: Depending on how well I know her, yeah I do.
–Queens
Overheard by: Tara
Or Have an IQ Above 50
Girl: Wow, you are really tall!
Guy: Yeah, I know…
Girl: No, seriously, you're like as tall as that Ying Yang guy!
Guy: What? Who? Oh, you mean Yao Ming?
Girl, laughing: Oh yeah, whatever, I don't watch baseball.
–NYU
Who Says You Can't Win an Argument?
Girl #1: Stop pushing!
Girl #2: You stop pushing!
Girl #1: Stop pushing or I'm gonna punch your fat teeth into your fat face!
–F Train
Overheard by: goodstuff