Archive for 2009

Wednesday One-Liners, for Purely Medicinal Purposes

Guy wearing a promotional cardboard to another: I think I’m going to treat myself to health insurance next month.

–Broadway & 43rd St

Overheard by: Maria

Woman on phone: My urologist wanted to stick a microscope up my urethra! (pause) No! (pause) Because it’s going to hurt!

–Vandam St & 6th Ave

20-something woman on cell: Yeah, the doctor told me not to exfoliate my labia.

–R Train

Overheard by: Note to self.…

Bartender: I gotta get sexy for my doctor tomorrow. I’m gonna be like, “doctor, I need you to examine me. I need you to remove my garments.” Nah… I’m just playin’. My doctor’s cute, though. For real. I’m just gonna show some cleavage or somethin’.

–Jamaica, Queens

Woman on phone: She wants to be a doctor. She likes it when the guts fall out. (pause) No, she wouldn’t do that. She’s too lazy to be a serial killer.

–Fox Newsroom, 6th & 48th

Overheard by: Newsbunny

Wednesday One-Liners, Hosted by Rackspace

Woman on cell: He was here for ten days and he only touched my boobs twice!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: and my girlfriend would be upset if it were 10 minutes

Old thug passing three fat chicks on their way to a club: Explosion of titties!

–Myrtle Ave, Brooklyn

Hipster barista guy: A boob is just a moisturized bag of skin, seriously!

–Think Coffee

Overheard by: its to early for this conversation

Full-on punk guy: Dude! Shit is so good! I just want someone to squirt tahini all over my tits!

–St. Mark’s Place

Overheard by: Dahlia

Girl on phone: Wait! What? No! Well, I do shit a lot. But I don’t want to shit my boobs away!

–Times Square

Wednesday One-Liner Is Performance

20-something woman on cell: So I’m like, “Be a man and go in the ladies’ room!”

–19th & 7th

Overheard by: tycho anomaly

40-something suit on cell: Why do I have to be the girl?

–University Place & 14th St

Overheard by: rich

Meathead: To the point where the hottest women in Thailand are men. But I mean, no homo or anything.

–Uptown 5 Train

Overheard by: Can’t vouch for this

Woman on cell: So yeah, men and women are different. Anyway…

–High Line Park

Overheard by: hudson williams-eynon

Guy, looking at friend’s iPhone: Ugh, I really didn’t need to see shemale penis today.

–99 Below Restaurant

Overheard by: Calvin SC