Student: It’s gonna be Halloween, aren’t you worried about the Bloods’ initiation?
Teacher: Nah. I’m good, my neighborhood’s Crips.
–Brooklyn Public School
Overheard by: trinity
Archive for 2009
Why Are We Even Talking When We Could Be Texting?
NYU girl #1: That’s super cas.
NYU girl #2: That’s a super abrev.
–Lafayette Residence Hall
The 21st Century Equivalent Of “I Bite My Thumb at You, Sir”
13-year-old skateboarder to friends: Suck my dick!
Friend #1: I like you, you’re my friend, and I’ll invite you to my birthday party, but I won’t suck your dick.
Friend #2: You provoke me with your boner.
–A Train
Overheard by: devon
We Can Be Each Others’ Funhouse Mirrors
White ginger head: You’re the only one who can get in touch with my feelings.
Black girl: Yeah, we’re like sisters.
White ginger head: You break down my emotions.
Black girl: I think we’re in love.
–137th & Convent
Overheard by: Lovers can be Friends
…Conspiring to Bring About Their Own Destruction
Crazy old black dude: I never heard of a white Taliban CIA.
Crazy young black dude: Yeah?
Crazy old black dude: Yeah. But now you know they out there.
–J Train
Overheard by: *c
Then You Can Guess Which One By the Stains on the Carpet!
Guy #1: You’re going to class? This’ll be great, I’ll get to make lunch and then I’ll masturbate!
Guy #2: Dude, I’m gonna be here till one.
Guy #1: Well…one, then.
–NYU Palladium
Overheard by: Zacharia
The Day Donald Duck Resolved to Be Taken Seriously
Undergrad #1: Yo, man, where are you running to?
Undergrad #2: Class!
Undergrad #1: Yo, why are you wearing pants?
–Fordham University
Overheard by: eternal student
In a World Without Wiki…
Middle aged drunk woman: Excuse me sir, do you know what nasal douching is?
Random 20-something guy: Uh, I think it’s when you stick your nose up in there and blow it out or something.
–Grand Central
Why Doctors Treat Patients Like They’re Idiots
Woman: Your doctors told us not to let you have any alcohol, because of your medication.
Elderly woman: Okay. I’ll just have beer then.
–F Train
Overheard by: Mae
Baloo Was So Wearing the Pants in That Relationship
Black-haired girl: Have you ever noticed how Disney characters hardly ever have mothers?
Blonde girl: Yeah, word! Nemo, Cinderella…
Black-haired girl: Jasmine, Belle, Mowgli from The Jungle Book…but then again he didn’t have pants either, so I don’t think he matters.
–New School, 13th & 2nd
