Archive for 2009

What Did I Tell You About Mary­land Girls?

San­i­ta­tion work­er #1: Man, I can’t be­lieve she broke it off af­ter all I did for her.
San­i­ta­tion work­er #2: Se­ri­ous­ly! Them women are so un­grate­ful.
San­i­ta­tion work­er #1: I put so much in­to that re­la­tion­ship, and bought her all this shit, and all I’m left with is crabs.

–Hous­ton & Greene

Over­heard by: of­fice pe­on

Same Rea­son You Aren’t Home­school­ing Him

An­gry par­ent: So what you are telling me is you know noth­ing about how my son’s face got bruised.
Teacher: No, ma’am. Like I said, it hap­pened at re­cess. I am on my lunch dur­ing their re­cess.
An­gry par­ent: So you weren’t there? You did­n’t see noth­ing?
Teacher: I did not see any­thing. I was not there. I was on my lunch.
An­gry par­ent: So you was­n’t there? You is his teacher but you’s not with him all day?
Teacher: No ma’am. If I were with these stu­dents all day, I would kill my­self.

–Pub­lic School, Bronx