Archive for 2009

…When You Stop Hang­ing Around With Me

Girl #1: What did your as­trologer say?
Girl #2: She said I will meet my hus­band in the next year. He’s 6′4″ with salt-and-pep­per hair. He has a ti­tle but he’s not lawyer.
Girl #1: Yeah…and he’s a bil­lion­aire?
Girl #2: He’s not a bil­lion­aire but he does well for him­self. Oh, al­so he’s French but he speaks sev­en lan­guages.
Girl #2: Did she say any­thing about me?
Girl #1: She said your life is gonna go from shit­ty to al­right.

–Hol­i­day Cock­tail Lounge, St Mark’s & 2nd

Over­heard by: wax

How You Know It’s Time to Dis­tract Your Child with Ice Cream

Small boy: So abor­tion is­n’t like killing, it’s like stop­ping?
Small boy’s moth­er: Yes, honey…it’s all very com­pli­cat­ed, but, some peo­ple think that a ba­by can’t be killed when it’s in­side the womb be­cause it’s not re­al­ly a ba­by yet.
Small boy: So, it’s not a ba­by till it’s out?
Small boy’s moth­er: That’s right.
Small boy: And then we can kill them?

–M103 Bus

Over­heard by: Lil­ly

Trust Me– I’ve Thought About This a Lot.

Crazy guy, about Scot­tish Deer­hounds: See, they’ve got per­son­al­i­ty. They’re en­joy­ing them­selves. They’ve got four legs, but we say we’re smarter? I wish I had four legs.
Ger­man own­er of Deer­hounds: Then you could­n’t open doors.
Crazy guy: But what if one of my front paws had a hand? Then I could open doors.

–Mar­cus Gar­vey Dog Run, 120th St & Madi­son Ave

Over­heard by: an­na

I Think I’ve Seen This Se­in­feld Episode…

Young Jew­ish guy #1: You know how you’re al­lowed to make jokes about 9/11 if you’re from New York?
Young Jew­ish guy #2: Yeah, to­tal­ly. You’re def­i­nite­ly al­lowed to do that.
Young Jew­ish guy #1: Ex­act­ly. It’s just like a Jew be­ing able to make a joke about the Holo­caust.
Young Jew­ish guy #2: Of course. It’s like a rite of pas­sage or some­thing.

–Pier 3, Brook­lyn