Archive for 2009

I Pre­fer to Think Of What I Do As Pan­han­dling Ex­press

Black guy wear­ing North Face: Lis­ten up, peo­ple! I’­ma need some mon­ey to buy a coat, cuz it’s freezin out there! This coat that I’m wearin’ ain’t mine, it’s my friend’s. So I’­ma need some mon­ey to buy a coat…yo, what stop is this?
Asian kid: Times Square.
Black guy: Okay…if you want to do­nate, you can’t. Cause I got­ta go, man.

–1 Train

Nor the Laws Of Time and Space

Tourist #1, look­ing at sub­way ex­its: North side or south side?
Tourist #2: What’s the dif­fer­ence?
Tourist #1: Well north is north…and south is south.
(both look from one ex­it to the next and look at each oth­er)
Pass­ing New York­er: Are you go­ing up­town or down­town?
Tourist #1, think­ing: Hmmmm.…west.
New york­er: West of 8th…but up­town or down­town? West side of what street?
Tourist #1: Hmm… West side of…23rd Street?
New York­er, walk­ing away: You don’t know what the hell you’re do­ing.

–23rd St

I’m As­sum­ing by Then You’ll Want to Hurt Your Part­ner’s Feel­ings

NYU guy #1: Dude, when you die, can I have your Ar­gyle?
NYU guy #2: What, you mean this?
NYU guy #1: Yeah. I mean, I just re­al­ly like Ar­gyle and I can’t seem to find any good sweaters these days. So, like…could I have it?
NYU guy #2: Dude, sure!
NYU guy #1: But don’t like try to die just to give it to me. I can wait a while. I think if you just put in your will some­thing like, “and I be­queath my awe­some Ar­gyll to my friend” that should do it.

–8th St & Uni­verisi­ty Place

Over­heard by: Ar­gyll Lover