Archive for 2009

And Yet He Ru­ined the 2000 Elec­tion

Good Samar­i­tan, rush­ing in: Chad told me to ask you for your first aid kit. Do you know Chad? Some la­dy got hit by a taxi!
Cashier: Yeah, he’s our boss.
(they leave with kit, cook re­turns a few min­utes lat­er)
Cook: Yo, Chad’s a hero. That wom­an’s head was in a pool of blood. She’s gonna need more than that first aid kit.
Cashier: It would be a guy named Chad who stops to help some­one lay­ing in the street. Most peo­ple see that and say “Yo, I got­ta get to work.” You nev­er see an Omar or Car­los stop to help some­one. It would be a guy named Chad!

–Zen Burg­er, 45th & Lex­ing­ton

Over­heard by: — My friend Chad is serv­ing in Iraq and is a hero too!

Hey, You Nev­er Know When a Stray-Dog Con­test Will Erupt in New York

Guy, apro­pos of noth­ing: You know, if I were ever in one of those con­tests where there’s a stray dog and two fam­i­lies and you have to fig­ure out which fam­i­ly he loves the most, I would to­tal­ly keep some Snausages in my pock­et or some­thing.
(long pause)
Chick he’s with: You are a strange lit­tle man. A strange lit­tle man.

–Up­town Q Train

Over­heard by: La­dle