Archive for 2009

My Dentist Told Me When He Filled My Teeth With Jelly

Hobo to couple: Right, right, so you take a donut, put it where it don’t belong. Like in a tree. Now you got a tv. Take a cream cookie, wipe it on your mustache. Now you got a tv. I would put a chocolate cookie in the middle of a donut.
Woman: Oh my, where did you learn all this?

–Staten Island Ferry

Although I Guess Celebrating 420 Is Close Enough

Blonde: I love Cinco de Mayo!
Friend: Any excuse to drink is fine with me!
Blonde: Did you know that it’s Mexico’s Independence Day?
Friend: Doesn’t everyone?
Blonde: I didn’t. I just think it’s so funny, because we don’t even celebrate America’s Independence Day.
Friend: What?

–Town Tavern

Overheard by: TJ

Does Hallmark Make a Card for That?

Middle-aged woman #1: Do you still see Paul and Adira?
Middle-aged woman #2: Well, I could call them any time.
Middle-aged woman #1: But then you’d have to have a relationship with them.
Middle-aged woman #2: It’s not that I don’t want to have a relationship with them…
(pause)
Middle-aged woman #1: But you don’t want to have a relationship with them.
Middle-aged woman #2: Exactly.

–Columbus Circle