Archive for 2009

Which Re­minds Me– I Owe You Fifty Bucks.

Stu­dent: What about sex?
Eco­nom­ics pro­fes­sor: What about it?
Stu­dent: Well, it’s some­thing that prob­a­bly nev­er has a di­min­ish­ing mar­gin­al util­i­ty.
Eco­nom­ics pro­fes­sor: You wish. (class laughs) Plus, for most of us in this room, sex is­n’t usu­al­ly a mar­ket trans­ac­tion.

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: Danielle

Maybe, but Her Body Stayed in the Riv­er

Cashier #1: So I was like, “Damn! I ain’t gonna be drowned like this!” So I fought fo’ mah life! And that’s why I ain’t dead.
Cashier #2: Yeah, that’s the de­sire to live! It’s hu­man in­stinct, yo!
Cashier #1: Un­less you kill yo­self or some­thin’.
Cashier #2: Yeah, but that’s on­ly if you just off a build­ing or hang your­self or some shit, no one gonna drown them­self!
Co­lum­bia chick: Well ac­tu­al­ly, Vir­ginia Woolf drowned her­self.
Cashier #1: What, she fall in­to the bath­tub?
Co­lum­bia chick: Um, well no, she put rocks in her pock­et and walked in­to a riv­er.
Cashier #2: I bet she walked right out again! Shit…

–Health Store, 114th St & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Vicks­burg

It’s a Vi­cious Cy­cle.

Ghet­to girl #1: I just stepped on a piece of dogshit on my way to work. Now what the hell am I sup­posed to do?
Ghet­to girl #2: Spray some per­fume on your shoes.
Ghet­to girl #1: I al­ready tried that, and Brit­ney’s new per­fume ain’t strong enough!
Ghet­to girl #2: Well, then rub it in shit again!

–Broad­way b/w Maid­en Lane & Lib­er­ty