Thug: I gotta keep my shit correct so she can’t fuck with me no more.
Girl: Good for you!
–Canal & Broadway
Archive for 2009
A Philosophical Discussion Can Break Out Anywhere
Girl: Is this the fitting room?
Shop employee: Yes, but there is someone in there, once he is out… time is impeccable.
–Broadway
Overheard by: vegantoast
The Golden Rule?
Girl #1: Yeah, so my new boyfriend peed my bed the first night. After the second time, I broke up with him.
Girl #2: Good move. My motto is: “Pee my bed once, shame on you. Pee my bed twice, shame on me.”
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: C.Terjesen
Actually, Something Like This
Unattractive fag hag: So we went out Friday and he slept over afterwards.
Gay male friend: I knew it!
Unattractive fag hag: Yeah, but then like, the next morning, I was in the other room and I overheard him talking on his cell phone and he was saying something about how I was a brown bagger. What does that mean, that it was in the bag? Like, I’m a slut?
Gay male friend: Uhhhh… something like that.
–L Train
I Was That Poop Smell in the Last Row
Blind lady #1: Hey there honey, how have you been?
Blind lady #2: I’ve been good.
Blind lady #3: Where were you last week? I didn’t see you at the meeting!
–23rd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Adam
That’s the Last Time I Let Nequa Babysit for You
Big black lady with yellow weave: Hey! Get off of my breasteses!
Toddler son: Why?
–Marine Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Katie
…That Is the Expression, Right?
Student: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving, monsieur?
NYU French professor, with heavy French accent: Bien sûr! I’m as American as apple pie!
–NYU Classroom
Young People These Days Are So Disrespectful
Grumpy old women on subway: Hey, you! I paid two dollars for this and I am tired. Give me that seat!
Teen: Umm… ahh… What the fuck?
–M Train
Overheard by: Zach
Best Weed Ever
Hipster boy: I’m wearing shorts.
Hipster girl: I’m wearing pants.
Hipster boy: It’s raining.
Hipster girl: Yeah.
–Washington & Lafayette
Wonder If I Could Rent One
Fat old guy: That was refreshing.
Fatter old guy: Yeah. But it’s like a dog chasing a car, though–what would you do with it if you caught it?
Fat old guy: Go to jail?
Fatter old guy: Yeah. (chuckles) Sixteen’ll get you twenty.
–Hamilton Square
