Guy to girl: Just because I slept with you doesn't mean we get to be Facebook friends!
Girl, in Southern accent: Oh, shoot!
–14 St & Ave B
Overheard by: Obducomiapint
Archive for 2009
Vincent D'Onofrio's Fan Base: Explained.
Girl #1: I cant believe you made out with him!
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: He's not even your type!
Girl #2: What do you mean? He's exactly my type!
Girl #1, exasperated: He has Asperger's!
Girl #2, matter of factly: Exactly!
–Union Square
Hateful Slur or Queens Endearment? Discuss.
Ice cream truck guy to boy on scooter: How are you doing, little man?
Little boy to ice cream guy: How are you doing, faggot?
–Astoria, Queens
When Wrestlers Reminisce
Guy: I'm hanging with Ray tonight. You know Ray?
Girl: Yeah, I know him! I used to sit on his face!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Rocco
…My Little Absurdist.
Mother: We're going across the park! The park is wet!
Two-year-old daughter: Where are we going?
Mother: To the Guggenheim museum. We're going to see art.
Two-year-old daughter: Noooooo.
Mother: You'll like it. Can you say “Kandinsky”?
Two-year-old daughter: Bounce bounce bounce!
Mother: Just look at the damn park.
–M86 Bus
Kim Cattrall Has Fallen on Hard Times
Tourist man to girlfriend, pulling out a ring: Will you marry me?
Bag lady, interjecting: Has he made you come yet?
Tourist girlfriend, terrified: Um… no?
Bad lady: Don't marry him 'till he makes you come.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Kari
I'm Next, Motherfucker!
Little boy to man sitting across from him: It's my birthday!
Man: Well, you know what? Now you have to wait 12 months till your next birthday. I don't have to wait 12 months till my next birthday.
–R Train
The Bible Explicitly Forbids Hot Puppet Sex
Large, jolly lady usher #1, as disturbed-looking Midwestern tourist-family walks by: I always cringe when people bring their children. There should be signs telling them it's inappropriate.
Large, jolly lady usher #2: Remember the woman who kept telling us she was going to pray for us? Girl, that made my day!
–45th St
Overheard by: Ladle
Time Flies at Gunpoint
Security guard: I hate it when there's nothing to do all day.
Cashier: Today's been good, though. Hectic. Lot of people robbing us.
–Duane Reade
Just Gimme Three Steps
Little kid to father: Can you let go of my hand for a little?
Father to kid, dead serious: Why, are you going to try to run away?
Little kid: Yes.
–West Village