Archive for 2009

Men's Conversation Only Fills the Empty Hours Until the Next Blowjob

Girl to loser boyfriend: You wonder why we have all these problems? It's like, no matter what I say, everything goes in one ear and out the other with you.
Loser boyfriend: Nah babe, I listen to everything you say.
Girl: No, you don't–it's like I'm speaking another language…
Loser boyfriend: What do you mean “another language”?
Girl, getting upset: Nothing fuckin registers in that head of yours. We have all this shit to deal with because you don't know what the fuck I say. You say you listen but you just don't register nothing. Like I'm speaking another language or some shit!
Loser boyfriend, looking at another girl: So… what are you sayin'?

–South Ferry

If Wiki Confirms It, It Must Be True.

Philly girl #1, pointing to picture: Hey! My dad once punched that guy in the face!
Philly girl #2: Benjamin Netanyahu?
Philly girl #1: Yeah.
Philly girl #2: Wait… isn't he from Israel?
Philly girl #1: Nope. He went to Cheltenham high school, same as my dad.
Philly girl #2: What happened?
Philly girl #1: My dad said, “if you poke me one more time, I'm gonna punch you in the face.”
Philly girl #2: (silence)
Philly girl #1: He poked him.

–M60 Bus