Archive for 2009

Men’s Con­ver­sa­tion On­ly Fills the Emp­ty Hours Un­til the Next Blowjob

Girl to los­er boyfriend: You won­der why we have all these prob­lems? It’s like, no mat­ter what I say, every­thing goes in one ear and out the oth­er with you.
Los­er boyfriend: Nah babe, I lis­ten to every­thing you say.
Girl: No, you don’t–it’s like I’m speak­ing an­oth­er lan­guage…
Los­er boyfriend: What do you mean “an­oth­er lan­guage”?
Girl, get­ting up­set: Noth­ing fuckin reg­is­ters in that head of yours. We have all this shit to deal with be­cause you don’t know what the fuck I say. You say you lis­ten but you just don’t reg­is­ter noth­ing. Like I’m speak­ing an­oth­er lan­guage or some shit!
Los­er boyfriend, look­ing at an­oth­er girl: So… what are you sayin’?

–South Fer­ry

If Wi­ki Con­firms It, It Must Be True.

Philly girl #1, point­ing to pic­ture: Hey! My dad once punched that guy in the face!
Philly girl #2: Ben­jamin Ne­tanyahu?
Philly girl #1: Yeah.
Philly girl #2: Wait… is­n’t he from Is­rael?
Philly girl #1: Nope. He went to Chel­tenham high school, same as my dad.
Philly girl #2: What hap­pened?
Philly girl #1: My dad said, “if you poke me one more time, I’m gonna punch you in the face.“
Philly girl #2: (si­lence)
Philly girl #1: He poked him.

–M60 Bus