Old lady, tapping girl on the back: Girl! Get off the curb!
Preppy JAP: Uh, excuse me?
Old lady: Do you live in New York?
Preppy JAP: Um…yeah?
Old lady: Then get off the curb, and get off your fucking cell phone!
–1 Ave & E 84th St
Archive for 2009
This Cannot End Well
Black girl: I’m gonna have my dog bite your ass.
Black boy: Yeah, right, I’ll sic mad pigeons after that shit.
–E 103rd & Lexington
As a Footware Social Worker I’m Not Sure I Can Look the Other Way on This One
Girl #1: My room is so small. My room is 7.5 x 10.
Girl #2, gasping: Where do you put your shoes?!
–St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Derek
A Princess Can’t Marry a Commoner
Girl: Yeah, he was cute and really nice, but he’s not my type.
Guy: Why?
Girl: Well, he’s from Brooklyn!
Guy: Oh.
Girl: Obviously.
–Upper West Side
Minty-Fresh?
Hipster girl, pulling a pineapple out of garbage bag: Man, these totally smell like ass sometimes!
Hipster boy: This one smells okay. It’s fine.
Hipster girl: No it’s not–it smells like your ass!
–Metro North Rail
It’s a Total Wi-Fi Meat Market
Older straight woman with tiny dog: Is this place a Hotspot?
40-something gay man with bright pink shirt: You mean like a meat market?
–Starbucks, 12th St & 2nd Ave
I Think I’ve Found My Future Husband
Dude: That guy with the tattoo on his elbow was gorgeous.
Chick: I didn’t see his face.
Dude: He looks like a scumbag.
–57th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Marie
Well You Eat Popsicles!
Gangsta, passing sushi restaurant: Yo. You wanna eat sushi?
Girlfriend: Sushi? You don’t even eat pussy, how you gonna eat sushi?
–8th St b/w 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: Garry Lash
The Difference Between Obvious-Crazy and Stealth-Crazy
Crazy vet: Hey lady, you got any kids?
Sympathetic, but slightly freaked out woman: No.
Crazy vet: You got any grandkids?
Sympathetic, but slightly freaked out woman: Yeah, I got six grandbabies.
–14 D Bus
Overheard by: Fer
Since the French Developed a Taste for Overpriced, Too-Sweet Coffee
Rich brunette: Like, I was just in Europe and it’s all the same. Like, Paris and London are exactly the same as New York, there’s no difference!
Blonde: But they speak French in Paris, though.
Rich brunette: But they even have Starbucks there too!
–Bryant Park
