Archive for 2009

What About This Coin with the Chick and the Ba­by in the Sling?

Thug, hand­ing coin to deal­er: Yo, man, check this out. You ever see some­thing like that? What’s it worth?
Black sales­man: This is an Eisen­how­er dol­lar, from the bi­cen­ten­ni­al. They’re not re­al­ly worth more than a dol­lar. You can spend it, or save it as a sou­venir.
Thug: Damn, man, I went through a lot of trou­ble to get this. My grand­moth­er left it to me when she died. You sure it ain’t valu­able?
Black sales­man: I’m afraid not.
Thug: Some­body of­fered me $100 for this shit.
Black sales­man: Then I rec­om­mend you go back to that per­son and sell it to him. It was a great of­fer.
Thug: Sheeeeeeit. (leaves)
Black sales­man, mut­ter­ing to him­self: Stu­pid-ass nig­ga.

–Ful­ton Street Mall

Over­heard by: Big Lar­ry

God’s On­ly-Be­got­ten Son

Lit­tle boy: Dad, can I try to fix your watch?
Dad: Wait un­til we get home.
Lit­tle boy, cry­ing: You don’t trust me with any­thing!
Dad: No, it’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that fix­ing a watch is very hard. Not even David Blaine can re­place a tiny screw on a crowd­ed stretch of Broad­way.
Lit­tle boy: Who’s David Blaine?

–Broad­way & Prince

Are You Tear­ing Up, Dude?

Stu­dent #1: I was on my way to work one morn­ing, and I saw a live cock­roach scur­ry­ing across the side­walk in broad day­light.
Stu­dent #2: I thought that they don’t like the light? I’ve on­ly seen them at night and in sub­ways.
Stu­dent #1: This was like a badass lit­tle rebel cock­roach. I bet he got sick of be­ing a slave to the dark­ness and dared to go where no cock­roach has ever gone be­fore. And all his cock­roach friends were like “Don’t do it, Jer­ry, no one’s ever come back!” but they just could­n’t hold him back.

–Lin­coln Cen­ter, Ford­ham Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: Ford­ham Stu­dent

Noth­ing’s Bet­ter for the In­side Of a Girl Than the Out­side Of a Zuc­chi­ni

Guy: Did you know there is veg­gie porn?
Girl­friend: No, I did­n’t.
Guy: I’ll send you the link.
Girl­friend: Not in­ter­est­ed, but you can look all you want.
Guy: Not for me… I’m not a veg­e­tar­i­an, al­though I’m eat­ing veg­e­tar­i­an.

–14th St & 8th Ave

Over­heard by: Asian­Lati­no