Archive for 2009

Fe­lice Unger’s Room­mate Is the De­li­cious­ly Un­shaven Olivia Madi­son

Girl: Yo, I wish that show­er gel was­n’t sea­son­al. I mean, I know the soap smells the same, but if some­one gets a hair on my show­er gel I can shrug it off. I mean, I know you’re try­ing to move to…
Sales girl: Less pack­ag­ing, yeah.
Girl: And I’m all about be­ing green and stuff but if I’m gonna pay four­teen dol­lars for a lit­tle tiny chunk of soap, I don’t want to throw it out be­cause of some­one’s busi­ness hair be­ing all up on it.

–Cos­met­ics Store, Her­ald Square

How Do You Get a Fly­er Guy to Shut Up, Again?

Com­e­dy pro­mot­er: Do you like stand-up com­e­dy?
Guy: Sure.
Pro­mot­er: Here, take a look at this!
Guy: No, thanks.
Pro­mot­er: Take one! It’s not drugs!
(girl­friend grabs guy’s hand, they keep walk­ing)
Pro­mot­er: Sir, don’t let that woman con­trol your life! You are your own per­son!

–Out­side Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Ash­ley

How About Build­ing Me a House In­stead?

Man #1 to man #2, with head­phones in on his com­put­er: Are you an army man?
(man #2 does­n’t re­spond)
Man #1: Are you an army man?
(man #2 does­n’t re­spond)
Man #1: Ex­cuse me! I asked you a ques­tion, I’m not ask­ing you to build me a house! Are you an army man?
Man #2: I know, and I’m de­clin­ing to an­swer your ques­tion.
Man #1: I’m not a vet or any­thing, I’m just try­ing to get some mon­ey.
Man #2: That’s what I thought.

–Star­bucks, Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: B

Weird­est. Scav­enger Hunt. Ever

Hip­ster #1: Car­ni­val games…
Hip­ster #2: Car­ni­val games.
Hip­ster #1: Rock ‘n’ roll…
Hip­ster #2: Rock ‘n’ roll.
Hip­ster #1: Fly­ing cars…
Hip­ster #2: Fly­ing cars.
Hip­ster #1: Drugs…
Hip­ster #2: Drugs.
Hip­ster #1: Rape…
Hip­ster #2: Rape.
Hip­ster #1: Mur­der…
Hip­ster #2: Mur­der.

–40th St & Queens Boule­vard

Over­heard by: Ex­cessStrauss­es