Archive for 2009

Felice Unger’s Roommate Is the Deliciously Unshaven Olivia Madison

Girl: Yo, I wish that shower gel wasn’t seasonal. I mean, I know the soap smells the same, but if someone gets a hair on my shower gel I can shrug it off. I mean, I know you’re trying to move to…
Sales girl: Less packaging, yeah.
Girl: And I’m all about being green and stuff but if I’m gonna pay fourteen dollars for a little tiny chunk of soap, I don’t want to throw it out because of someone’s business hair being all up on it.

–Cosmetics Store, Herald Square

How Do You Get a Flyer Guy to Shut Up, Again?

Comedy promoter: Do you like stand-up comedy?
Guy: Sure.
Promoter: Here, take a look at this!
Guy: No, thanks.
Promoter: Take one! It’s not drugs!
(girlfriend grabs guy’s hand, they keep walking)
Promoter: Sir, don’t let that woman control your life! You are your own person!

–Outside Penn Station

Overheard by: Ashley

How About Building Me a House Instead?

Man #1 to man #2, with headphones in on his computer: Are you an army man?
(man #2 doesn’t respond)
Man #1: Are you an army man?
(man #2 doesn’t respond)
Man #1: Excuse me! I asked you a question, I’m not asking you to build me a house! Are you an army man?
Man #2: I know, and I’m declining to answer your question.
Man #1: I’m not a vet or anything, I’m just trying to get some money.
Man #2: That’s what I thought.

–Starbucks, Penn Station

Overheard by: B

Weirdest. Scavenger Hunt. Ever

Hipster #1: Carnival games…
Hipster #2: Carnival games.
Hipster #1: Rock ‘n’ roll…
Hipster #2: Rock ‘n’ roll.
Hipster #1: Flying cars…
Hipster #2: Flying cars.
Hipster #1: Drugs…
Hipster #2: Drugs.
Hipster #1: Rape…
Hipster #2: Rape.
Hipster #1: Murder…
Hipster #2: Murder.

–40th St & Queens Boulevard

Overheard by: ExcessStrausses