Girl on A train: Why are all the signs advertising English language courses written in English?
Brother in a white hat: So people can read it, stupid!
–A Train
Overheard by: Closely Watching on the A Train
Archive for 2009
Um, Have You *Seen* Jackass?
French lesbian: Martin Luther king, was he white?
American lesbian: No. He was black!
French lesbian: Oh I always get him confused with that other president who was the cripple.
American lesbian: Martin Luther king wasn’t ever a president.
French lesbian: God! But they have a day for him anyway? America is so pretentious!
–East Village
If That’s Not a Rap Lyric, It Should Be One.
Little girl: Daddy, it’s hard to be a six-year-old…
Dad: Uh huh.
Little girl: She wasn’t calming me down, daddy, she was calming me up!
–Steinway & Ditmars, Astoria
The Zen Of Grandma
Grandmother: And when we get outside, then you can ask the big question. And what’s the big question?
Grandson: Who are you?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: MK
When You Don’t Know What You’re Talking About, Charm’s Only a Little Help
Guy #1: There are just some things certain in life, like death in Texas.
Guy #2: Wait…don’t you mean to say “death and taxes”?
Guy #1: Oh yeah, I forgot to say it with an Southern accent.
–A Train
Overheard by: krisenthia
Except for That Three-Day Vacation in the Tombs
Man, entering subway and noticing religious freak speaking: Hey man! Good to see you! Where have you been all summer? Did you take a day off? Jesus doesn’t take a day off!
–1 Train
Overheard by: J‑OY‑K
As in “Puttin’ On the Fritz”?
Hipster chick #1: Yeah, my cell phone was on the…uh…skitz?
Hipster chick #2: “Skitz”?
Hipster chick #1: Maybe not. “Skitz” is like the streaks left in the toilet after you take a shit.
Hipster chick #2: You meant “on the Fritz”
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: The Katie
It’s Even Funnier When You Know the Hobo Talks Like Mr. T
20-year old, passing a hobo: Dude, you smell.
Hobo: Fuck you, hipster!
20-year old: I’m not a hips…
Hobo, cutting him off: Where’s your hat?
20-year old: I don’t own a h…
Hobo, cutting him off: Fuck you and your hat!
–2nd Ave, East Village
In Lieu Of Deodorant
Hipster queer: This cigarette tastes like a taint.
Suit queer: That’s weird.
Hipster queer: Yeah.
Suit queer: Cause I rubbed it in my armpit.
–NYU
This Is Funnier If You Don’t Think About Where She Hears It
Little girl to little boy: What are you doing!?
Little boy, holding a cup of water: Nothing.
Little girl: Every time I come back your glass is full again, you’re always drunk!
–181 & Broadway
Overheard by: Justaboy86
