Bar guy #1: Wow, we gotta thank Jeff for all of this.
Bar guy #2: Yeah, we’ll give him a blowjob later.
–Astoria
Overheard by: EchoNYC
Archive for February, 2010
At Least This One Didn’t Point a Finger in My Face and Say, “You’re Doomed! Doomed!!”
Lost Russian woman: Excuse me, does this stop at Pring Street?
Teenager: What? Oh, you mean “Spring Street.” Yeah. Just stay on the train.
(woman walks away)
Teenager to friend: What the fuck? That’s like the third one this week! Am I like an old Russian woman magnet or something?
–N Train
Just Imagine If the Sprinklers Shot Milk!
Girl: Why are there sprinkler systems on the sides of the buildings?
Guy: That’s what helps the buildings grow big and tall!
–Madison Square
Overheard by: I knew it
I Think I’ve Seen This Video…
Wannabe hipster teen girl #1: My face is so bad cause I’m on my period.
Wannabe hipster teen girl #2: I think I’m gonna do my face since I have nothing else to do.
Wannabe hipster teen girl #1: Oh! We can do each other’s faces!
–L Train
Overheard by: Wtf?
…And You’re in Big Trouble When I Get Home Later.
Conductor: Tickets, please.
Ghetto commuter woman: What’s taking so long?
Conductor: (no response)
Ghetto commuter women: Hello? Can you answer me?
Conductor: Can I just have your ticket?
Ghetto commuter woman: Hold on. Youse a rude-ass motherfucker.
Conductor: That’s it, get off my train.
Ghetto commuter woman: Youse still a rude-ass motherfucker!
–LIRR
Overheard by: hungover commuter
And No Pants
Man to girlfriend: You should be a model for Playboy hoodie edition.
Girlfriend: Really?
Man: Yeah, you look good in hoodies.
–6th Ave & 11th St
Some Men Are All About Getting Tail
Man at female stranger: Can I ask you a question? (woman just looks at him) Do you like…(pauses dramatically) mermaids? (woman crosses the street)
–Herald Square
Katie Onomatopoeias Her Pants
Dad to three-year-old daughter: No, honey, moose don’t moo.
Daughter: Moose don’t moo?
–7 train
…Whew! That’s the Most Thinking I’ve Done in a While.
Wife: Is Ozzy Osbourne the one with the long blonde hair?
Husband: He’s not blonde! He’s done drugs his whole life!
Wife: Is he black?
Husband: No, you’re thinking of Gene Simmons.
Wife: Oh, of course! (pause) No, I think I was thinking of Lady Gaga.
–BB King’s, Times Square
Some Books Are More About Look and Feel Than Content
Girl #1: You still haven’t told me what you want for Christmas.
Girl #2: I don’t know, um, I like books…
Girl #1: You like books, or you like reading books?
–F Train
Overheard by: Heidi
