Archive for March, 2010

Those Who Mar­ry for Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Earn Them

Girl to friend: I mean, if he was rich I would pre­tend to like him; but he’s not, so…

–46th & 3rd

Guy on street to cou­ple: Ba­by girl, you’re just em­bar­rass­ing your­self. Don’t do it. You know you’re just with him for his mon­ey cuz every­one knows white men ain’t got no dick.

–5th & 32nd

Ghet­to young man: That is why I’m gonna mar­ry a rich white woman. My daugh­ter needs a good life; my sug­ar ma­ma can pay for her to go to a pri­vate school. I’m a playa, but I got­ta mar­ry a rich white woman for my ba­by girl.

–A Train

20-some­thing guy to friends: So this chick I like says “let’s wait un­til you start mak­ing mon­ey til we start dat­ing.” So I said to her “what makes you think I want to date you once I start mak­ing mon­ey?”

–St Mark’s

Lit­tle Wednes­day One-Lin­er on the Prairie

20-some­thing woman on cell: I fuck you, I get din­ner. He fucks you, he gets a house!

–Wash­ing­ton Square

Girl: Earth­quakes come every ten years, and it’s not that bad. It’s not like your house goes down or some­thing.

–Flush­ing, Queens

Over­heard by: mia

Ex­cit­ed kinder­gart­ner: We played house and then we played go­ing to the co-op!

–Park Slope

Over­heard by: Rose Fox

El­der­ly man to an­oth­er: Peo­ple are gonna kill peo­ple, they just need to do it in their own house.

–Austin St & 77th Ave

20-some­thing: So yeah, we used to hang out in el­e­men­tary school. He’d come over my house, kin­da like a “whose cock is big­ger?” kin­da thing.

–Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Anna­Banana

How Many Weight Watch­ers Points Are in a Wednes­day One-Lin­er?

Av­er­age-sized woman on cell: He said “big boned.” Yeah, “you’re a big boned girl… Like your dad, kin­da big boned.” (pause) Yeah, so, I did­n’t re­al­ly feel like eat­ing much af­ter that.

–Queens

Over­heard by: bdlil­rbt

Girl to friend: I al­ways think I’m a thin per­son, but then I look in­to the mir­ror and re­al­ize I’m not.

–3rd & 13th

Su­per skin­ny Japan­ese girl: I brought my juice with me. Then I or­dered dessert. But my juice just looked bet­ter than eat­ing dessert.

–Down­town 1 Train

Over­heard by: dignell

Mid­dle aged women to friend: Yeah, we took her in for a few weeks. She was fine, but did­n’t eat much. But that’s be­cause she kind of has an eat­ing dis­or­der. (they burst out in­to a fit of laugh­ter)

–F Train

Girl get­ting so­da to friend: You know, it’s the ice that makes you fat. I heard that some­where.

–Cafe­te­ria, Mary­mount Man­hat­tan

Over­heard by: Han­nah

A Wednes­day One-Lin­er to Re­mem­ber

Mid­west­ern moth­er to tick­et ven­dor: Thank good­ness for the bus, we’ve been in the ho­tel for four days be­cause we can’t walk any­more!

–50th St & 7th Ave

Over­heard by: Kate

Ditz, singing and march­ing: It’s a side­walk, so I have to walk on it!

–St. Mark’s & 2nd Ave

Over­heard by: Han­nah

Sar­cas­tic, port­ly girl: Great, my two fa­vorite things: walk­ing and learn­ing.

–Gov­er­nor’s Is­land Fer­ry

Crazy man in the mid­dle of the street block­ing traf­fic: Car are out­lawed! Walk every­where! I walked to Chi­na last week! I walked to Paris yes­ter­day!

–18th & 3rd

Over­heard by: Maria

Tough guy to an­oth­er: I’m a lit­tle afraid to walk around with you ’cause it seems every­one you work with dies.

–PJ Clarke’s

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Are a Re­al Sob Sto­ry

Cute girl on Penn sta­tion es­ca­la­tor: I dipped my dim sum in her tears!

–NJ Tran­sit

Man in run­ning gear on cell: I nev­er get to, but I’m go­ing to try again. I just hope I don’t cry!

–Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Daniel

Girl to friend: I cried so hard it went down and un­der my armpit.

–Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: porter

Bar­tender: I’ll bet he cries when he mas­tur­bates.

–Mac­Dou­gal & W 3rd

Over­heard by: Greg

Woman to friends: My vagi­na is leak­ing tears right now.

–5th St & 2nd Ave

Over­heard by: Zoe