Boy: If my hand was botoxed, could I hold hot things without getting hurt?
–K‑Mart, Astor Place
Drunk douchebag: If I was a gay guy, I totally wouldn’t cheat on my girlfriend, unless it was with a hot chick.
Overheard by: Ladle
Guy to another, as smoking hot woman walks by: She’s so hot I’d eat the corn out of her poop!
–42nd & Broadway
Guy to dinner date: I hate it when people tag me on Facebook. It’s like, I’m in sweat pants! I’m a mess! I just ran three miles, leave me alone… You’re gonna tag that?! Like “tap that.” You’re gonna “tag that”? (pause) What do you think about the waitress, pretty hot huh?
–Diner, Washington Heights
Overheard by: April Marks