Woman to girl crumpled on the floor, shaking: You okay?
Girl: Yeah… Yeah.
Woman: I like your dog.
Girl: Yeah… Yeah…
Woman: Yeah, my friend Chris got like 20 of them.
Girl: 20 chihuahuas?
Woman: 20 of them.
Girl: Fuck! Shit!… Fuckshit!
–L Train
Archive for June, 2010
Ur Fir3d
Band dude #1: So… How do we break it to him?
Band dude #2: Buy him an iPhone?
–Broadway & Leonard
Overheard by: P. Mills
Next Guy in Line: “Laid!”
Old man: Wait – what you think you doing? This here’s the line!
Lady in nurse scrubs: I just want to get a passport application.
Old man: Well, I just want to get a box. Everybody in this line just wants to get something.
(turns to next person in line)
Old man: What you want to get?
Next person in line: Some stamps.
Following person in line: A money order.
Old man: See, honey – they all just want to get something!
–Post Office, Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: Tigertail
…It’s 4:20 Somewhere.
Middle-aged woman to 20-something guy hand-rolling a cigarette: You know, it looks like you’re rolling a joint there.
Guy, laughing: Little early in the day for that, don’t you think?
Middle-aged woman: Not for me.
–49th St & Madison Ave
For That, and for Wearing Those Horrid Tasseled Loafers.
Gay dude to girl friend: Stupid-ass Aids-filled cancer patient.
Girl friend: That’s why you’re gonna die tomorrow.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Glory
DiCaprio?
Husband: I can never remember the name of the other one. There’s D’Artagnan, Aramis, and Porthos. I always want to call the last guy “Pathos,” but I know that’s not it.
Wife: Isn’t it Leonardo?
Husband: No, that’s one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
–55th St & Madison Ave
… Naked
Gay husband #1: That dog gets all the attention.
Gay husband #2: Not when I’m walking it!
–Union Square
Brutality Exchange Program?
Girl, swatting at guy: Stupid, stupid! LAPD?
Guy: Ow! What did I say? What?
Girl: Why would the LAPD be in New York?
Guy: Oh.
–Five Points, Manhattan
Um, He Was Explaining the Specials.
Apple executive, about owner: The way I see it, you plop down 14 dollars to listen to Kenny talk for an hour.
Fire department regular, paying check: I’d pay 24 dollars for Kenny to shut the fuck up while I’m trying to eat.
–Lower East Side
Overheard by: mhopkins
Astoria Itself Is Rather a Slap in the Face
Guy: I didn’t realize your true nature till you slapped me in the face.
Girl: Right.
–Astoria
Overheard by: Natalie
